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"Who are you to lecture me on the ways of magic and nature?" the Goddess asks, and her tone strikes terror into every cell of my being. "You are a little drop of water in an ocean so vast you cannot even conceive the size of it. You are nothing more than a heartbroken child who thinks she can change the mind of a god."
Maybe she's right. Maybe I am insignificant.
But Alpha Viktor, the fallen King of Five Armies, is dead because of me. The Night King, ruler of the nightwalkers, was reunited with his family because of me. The Rogue Alpha, King of Outcasts, believes in love again because of me. The fate of three kings and seven kingdoms changed because of one insignificant little person.
The nameless girl who became a Luna.
"One heartbroken child may not matter to you, my lady, but I think nothing matters more," I tell her softly, clinging to the memory of Tristan's hand in my own to give me strength as I speak up. "You never know what that child will become or who their love will touch. You may think I was a drop, but I think I was a seed. I blossomed into a flower of hope, and I learned that anyone and anything unwilling to grow can only ever wither."
The Goddess cocks her head to the side slowly, looking at me with something that might resemble fascination.
"Is that meant to be a threat... little flower?"
The sound of Tristan's nickname for me in that otherworldly voice is haunting enough to turn the blood in my veins into ice. I'm not alive, so why can I feel so cold?
"I would never," I answer breathlessly.
This is all coming out wrong. We were supposed to do this together, my mate and I.
But Selene spared Tristan.
She showed mercy. I realize at that moment that the Goddess did not let him live to separate me from him; she did it because it was kind. I think of how she stared out through the window when I first woke up, as if watching the world from so far away.
I wonder what we must look like to her. So fleeting and fragile and alive. Or at least, I used to be.
The Goddess is powerful beyond imagination, devastatingly beautiful, and ancient as the world itself. And impossibly alone...
I see her then as if looking at her for the first time. A creature full of kindness that so rarely gets to share it. The moon is so lonely in the sky, watching over the world and shining down on it without ever truly being able to touch it. The Goddess possesses such awful and wonderful power at her fingertips, but she has no one to hold her hand.
Even now that my heart is still as stone, it is still full. I'm so far from Tristan and everyone I care about, but their memory is a hand on my shoulder, reminding me that I am loved. I thought I knew what it meant to be alone, but I was wrong.
One must not pity the dead. Pity the gods who never got to truly live.
Chapter Nineteen
"I would never threaten you," I repeat, trying to keep my voice from cracking even as tears sting my eyes. "How could I? I have nothing to threaten you with. I hold no power over you. I possess nothing that you desire. I don't have a bargain or a weapon or a trick I can use against you. Even if I did, I don't want to. I didn't come here to fight you or command you or even to beg at your feet."
I feel Selene's hollow gaze following a tear that rolls down my cheek as I walk toward her.
"Then why did you come to me, Iris, daughter of moon and blood?"
When I was locked away in that basement for all those years, I found solace in a forgotten book. I didn't even know it was my mother's, but it made me feel less alone. Perhaps now I can do the same for this woman standing before me, with all her terrible beauty and unspeakable magic.
"I'm here to tell you a story. My story," I tell her slowly. "All I have for you are the beliefs that were shaped by my past and my hope that I still have for the future. If you'll allow it, I'd like to share those with you."
She watches me carefully, and though her eyes remain voids of starlight, I can almost see the surprise there. After a moment, she nods.
I walk toward her, where she remains by the window. Outside, I catch a glimpse of seas of stardust and faraway worlds, but I quickly look away. For some reason, I get the sense that such a view is not meant for mortal eyes, and if I look out for too long, the sight would burn away my eyes.
Instead, I sit on the little ledge by the window where I'd curled up so many times to look up at the moon. But this time, she looks back at me. The moon looks back at me and listens.
I tell her the story of the nameless Luna, of the lost little girl who found herself when she fell in love with a king. The words spill out of me and fill the space between us, bridging our differences. Her face remains impassive the entire time, but I keep going. I tell her about all the unspeakable things Oscar and his goons did to me, and for once, I hold nothing back, bearing each and every one of my scars. I tell her things I would never tell my mother, or my mate, for fear of causing them sorrow.
Considering she's the Goddess, I skip over the details and technicalities of everything that happened. She knows that already. I don't need to tell her all the facts and figures; I want to tell her how it felt.
I don't know how long I talk. Time seems to flow differently here... wherever here may be. When I'm finished, we remain in silence, and I look at her in a fruitless attempt to guess what she's thinking.
I understand that it is her role to protect the balance of nature, but I truly believe that the love between my parents, and my entire existence for that matter, is not an offense to what she stands for. After all, what is more natural in this universe than change?
