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As a child, he was kind. There were times I thought we were friends, then he changed. I wasn’t sure if I preferred his snide remarks, his sneers, or the way he always looked like he smelled something funny whenever I showed up.
My Ash was replaced with an Ash-hole.
Even now, when he was not being a complete asshole, he was an Ash-hole. What in the Goddess’s name was he even doing?
Pissing me off. That’s what he was doing.
His grip had tightened momentarily after each new injury was revealed. That didn’t feel like something an asshole would do. It felt like someone cared about me— in an Ash-hole way. Yet, he refused to even look at me without a snarl. He had come for me yet had refused to speak to me.
Elijah hadn’t offered comfort or words of encouragement and sympathy; there was just a lot of growling. He hadn’t held me affectionately the way Liam had. No comforting caresses. Just a rough, tight grip and words I had needed to hear delivered almost bitingly while he towered over me, trying to intimidate me.
I’m sure he wasn’t trying to, but with one tough touch and glaring one look, he had given me my strength back and assured me that someone was there for me. Someone would protect me. Someone would help carry some of this immense burden weighing me down.How does he do that while being such an asshole?
Somehow, he gave me what I needed, as only an Ash-hole could.
That guard had done so many cruel things to me, and Elijah had taken him out with one punch to the face and then punctuated it with a kick. To the face. It seemed like it was for me— contrary to what he insisted.
Despite our history, I was relieved he was there. That’s what pissed me off. That’s what Elijah did to me. He always made me want to get close to him again when I knew it would only hurt. He gave me whiplash, and it wasn’t good for my sanity.
Thoroughly unbalanced, I allowed Elijah to shoulder the bag Liam had brought for me, take my hand, and pull me from the room down the dank corridor in the opposite direction of the cellblock. When we reached the heavy metal door at the end of the hall, Elijah unlocked it, allowing the Earth User to exit first, thanking him on the way through.
He probably scared the poor older man looking like he wanted to set the entire world on fire and sounding like he gargled nails. With a nod, the older man quickly took his leave, racing up the stone steps to the right like a man half his age, not looking back.
Elijah told Liam to lead, then indicated I should follow. But I hesitated, my mind finally catching up. I had blindly stumbled after him while my mind spun with the ramifications of all that had happened, but we needed to stop and think before we did something we couldn’t undo. If we stopped right now, this could be explained away. They’d need to take me back— to my cell and my future keeper— but we could forget this had ever happened. Their word would hold more weight than Ralph’s.
I genuinely had no idea where I’d go if I left or how I would survive. I’d never even really left the capital. And I definitely didn’t know anyone I could go to for help.
Knowing Elijah, he’d planned for this, but I didn’t know what that plan entailed. I didn’t know where I was going from there or if it was worth the risk.
Staying, I’d be forced to have a keeper, so my life would change. But could that really be worse than being out there and trying to survive on our own? At least in the capital, I knew I would eventually have a home and proper food. Being claimed seemed a small price to pay for that comfort; I wouldn’t know how to find or secure any of that out there.
Leaving also meant never seeing either Liam or Elijah again, and I couldn’t imagine that being the best option.
When Liam became a Denalian, he and his brother grew closer. I never resented their connection. It was good for Liam to have his brother. On the other hand, as Liam and Elijah grew closer, he took up more of Liam's time.
Afraid of losing both of them, I had finally accepted Liam’s repeated offer to be my keeper, should Father allow it, hoping it would bring him back to me. I would have been happy having my best friend as my keeper. We’d never even had a chance to really explore this thing between us. Liam had only recently admitted he had feelings for me, and I agreed it was a quality match. I’d never even kissed Liam, and I’d be saying goodbye.
How could I manage literal miles and miles separating us if I couldn’t handle a little metaphorical distance?
“Elijah, what’s going on? Why are you doing this?” I asked the man who was running this show, whose intentions I couldn’t quite understand.
I knew why Liam was there; he would have done anything for me, even if I never would have wanted this for him. But Elijah? Throwing his life and position away for me made no sense. Being heirs to the throne wouldn’t excuse them from treason.
Pulling me down the hallway without slowing at all, Elijah avoided the question, rubbing his hand through his hair and pulling at the roots.
“We need to get you out of here,” he said, pushing me forward, an unknown emotion flickering across his face. “If you hurry your ass up, we might be able to leave the castle before daylight breaks and the entire place wakes up.”
Elijah knew I was asking why he was helping me. Just as I knew he wouldn’t answer.
“No.” I shook my head, trying to convince Elijah to call this whole thing off. “I can’t let you risk your lives for me. This situation sucks, but it’s not forever. And you can clear this up…. “I paused, wetting my lips. This wasn't good. They would be in serious trouble if we continued down this path. “… Somehow. Nothing is totally ruined. But if we take this further, it will be. You’ll lose your positions. The king won’t forgive this easily. What if he disowns you? I can’t let you take that risk. Either of you. No matter what,” I rambled, willing to do anything to ensure that didn’t happen.
“Goddess,” Elijah swore, pulling my hand harder, picking up the pace even more. I hadn’t been in these tunnels before, but they had to be underground. The ground was packed dirt, and the air was so stale it was hard to breathe, but Elijah didn’t slow. “I don’t have the time to talk about it right now. Get your ass in gear and follow me.”
Liam placed his hand on my lower back, seeing my reluctance. “Kai, you can trust us. You know that, right?”
That wasn’t the issue. I could trust Liam. I knew that wholeheartedly. I also knew I could never live with myself if I let him ruin his life for me.
“I do…,” I hedged. “But I can’t let you do this for me. I can’t. I can’t be the reason you’re hurt. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” I included Elijah in this sentiment, even if I wouldn’t show him that. “Just take me back to my cell, and we can clear this—”
