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She bit her lip. “As much as I want to say no to this meeting and as much as I wish I could tell her to fuck herself…” she trailed off, looking out the dark window into the night, quiet for a moment. “A larger part of me knows I’ll regret not hearing her out. Not for her sake, but for mine. I must know what’s happening, or I’ll always wonder.”
She hoped that her mother’s words would make this better. That worried me because what could possibly make it okay for a mother to run away, leaving her young child at home, let alone while she was in a coma? There was no way to make that okay. Deep down, Kaia knew that. And she hoped her father hid this from her for a good reason, but that wasn’t a certainty either.
“I understand that. My concern, though…” I hedged. “What if your mother's reasoning is not good enough to justify her actions? I worry that you’ll be hurt worse. And I’ll be honest with you, Kaia dear, I can’t stand the thought of that.”
Poor excuses or platitudes would only hurt her even more. And a large part of me expected precisely that to happen.
I felt protective of her before we bonded. I would have protected little Kaia Doll if something had happened while she spied on us when we were training. I would have protected Eryk’s daughter. I would kill for my bonded mate. And that would be a problem seeing her mother if she hurt her.
I looked at her profile. The flickering lights from the hanging torches outside the window made her eyes flash. The flush that rose into her cheeks with anger differed from the blush she usually wore for me. And that pissed me off.
“I know there’s a risk that everything she says will be complete bullshit, but I also can’t walk away without knowing for sure. Maybe we can never have a relationship, but we don’t have one now. No real loss." Her stricken eyes and downturned mouth told a different story, her face showing genuine emotions for the first time all night. It hurt to not touch her.
I nodded, hoping Kaia would keep talking, letting her run the conversation as I had upstairs.
“But I will know. For sure. No more frantic guessing.” She waved her hands around her head before letting them drop with a frown. “She’s also the only person who can give us information about Father.”
“We can wait if you’d like. Go later, once things have calmed down,” I suggested carefully, worried. How can one person have so much thrown at them and survive? How was she handling everything so well? “We could wait until you’ve had more time to think or adjust to this news. We’ll do anything you need.”
She smiled sadly at me. Those are the worst kinds of smiles, especially on her.
“No. I need to know, or I’ll torture myself with the what-ifs and questions. It’s not just about Arianne either.” Kaia dug her toe into the carpet, watching the movement. “I need to know Father’s role in this. Besides that one contact Milo won’t share with us, we don’t know who else to ask about him. I need to know what the fuck has been happening in my life.” Kaia jerked, then turned to look at me. “Did you know?” She stared me down. “Did you know she was alive?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“And the others? Aiden? Elijah? Griff? Did they know?” she pressed, gray eyes piercing me.
Aiden had better not have known about her mother and kept it from us. From her.
“I don’t believe so. I believe I would’ve known if they did.” I scratched my eyebrow, frowning. “I can’t be sure about Aiden. He’s been gone a long time. But we’ll find out what’s going on.”
Kaia nodded, walked to the bed, and sat. She bit her lip, looking uncomfortable. I was waiting for her anger over our parts in deceiving her, intentionally or not. She had the right to that anger, and I would not give her any excuses.
Any excuse I could provide would sound like—and be— an excuse. We didn’t intend to hide this from Kaia, but that’s precisely what happened, intentionally or not. Aiden was supposed to talk to her about being her Keeper. He didn’t. We genuinely assumed she knew, but clearly that wasn’t the case.
Aiden wanted a chance to talk to her. Help her understand. But obviously, first things had come first. He had intended to pull her aside last night once things had settled down. But then she and Ash had a single interaction, and like always, Kaia ran away shaking, never to be seen again. Well, for a little while. Shaking in fear, irritation, or anger, who knows? I would know going forward, I guessed. Maybe. If she didn’t block me this hard.
Ash’s ‘I’m trying my damn best to pretend I’m not in love with Kaia’ act always sounded like he was annoyed by her. It wasn’t her he was annoyed by, it was her situation. Well, it was more Ash’s situation that annoyed him.
I couldn’t even ask Ash if he’d talked to her about it because, as expected, he had retired in a heap of frustration that I didn’t need my shield down to feel. Because his ass was clenching way tighter than usual. And that man’s ass is always clenched. Tight.
I wasn’t lying to Ash when I said I wouldn’t touch Kaia on our journey. And even when I did, I’d hesitated for both his and Aiden’s sake before releasing nothing could have prevented me from giving her what she had needed; what a crying Kaia had been begging me for.
It was inevitable. I had never wanted a woman more in my entire life than I had this afternoon. I knew how inappropriate that was. I knew the timing wasn’t right, and she would belong to my friend.
That inevitability was cemented when she kissed me, and I felt my entire world shift and a bond of some kind slip into place. I’d felt it three times before, but never to that magnitude.
When I told her I could feel everything she felt, I wasn’t being poetic or lyrical. I genuinely felt what she felt, maybe as clearly as she did—she broadcasted everything. I felt her lust and her anticipation, her exhilaration. And I felt it intimately. Our combined emotions were so intense that the experience could never be considered anything less than otherworldly, life changing. I was grateful for that gift from the Goddess, even if I couldn’t explain it.
At this moment, I could no longer hear anything from Kaia, no matter how hard I prodded. She was also no longer bombarding me with her foreign emotions. She gave me nothing behind a solid wall of power I stood no chance against, a solid, impenetrable shield.
When the fuck did she learn to do that? And why now?
I could feel her—that warm feeling of Kaia inside my chest that had grown stronger as the night progressed, growing, and becoming more a part of me each minute that passed until she was entirely part of my soul. I couldn’t hear her thoughts and emotions, but I was still cradling a piece of her inside me.
Mentally, I stroked that Kaia warmth in my chest to watch her shiver. Usually, I would poke at the guys’ connection. There’s was now buried behind hers. She overshadowed everything. But for Kaia, I stroked. I liked to watch her reaction.
I’d done it a couple of times today to distract her when her thoughts got heavy. And also, to make myself happy. Like when she was bent over the table looking at old Adaria, and the little minx smile challenged me and then wiggled her ass. It wiggled even more when she full body shivered because of my mind caress. I don’t think she knew I was doing it.
