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The money is good,I tell myself, thinking of what else he’d offered earlier. Spying on Matvei would be dangerous. It would mean letting him touch me again, doing things with him that make my skin crawl just thinking about them. It would mean letting a man I despise have control over me, just for a little while.
But at the end of it—
I didn’t have an exit plan for this life—this career that I’ve chosen. I’m not so miserable that I’m going to lose my mind if I keep working at the Ashen Rose for a while longer. But the idea of having the freedom to choose to leave is tempting. Of being able to doanythingI want without worrying about how I’m going to make ends meet.
I could travel. I could take a long time off and give myself a vacation until I’m ready to decide if I want to go back to this type of work or not. I could even look for a different place, somewhere that exclusively hires dominants, somewhere that I’d never be asked to submit to anyone ever again. Hell, maybe in time, I could start myownplace.
If I wanted to, I could leave Chicago. I can see the world opening up for me, and all it takes is the money Finn is offering. Money that would take me much, much longer to accumulate just working at the Rose.
Just do it, Asha, I tell myself harshly.You’re a grown woman. If you don’t want to fuck Finn, if you don’t want to start something with him, if youknowit’s a bad idea, then justdon’t. Stop acting like this is the one thing you don’t control.
I ignore the tight, foreboding sensation in my gut, the warning that maybe I’m giving myself too much credit in this one situation—and I reach for my phone.
He’d left his number with Mari, telling her that I’d be asking for it. It’s irregular for clients to give out their personal numbers, but I assured her that it was for a good reason, and she gave it to me after I told her that I’d personally take the blame if Nikolai found out and was upset by it. From what Finn said, they work together closely enough that Nikolai would have some idea of why I have it—or at least not be upset that I do.
The idea that Finn felt the need to leave so quickly that he didn’t give me the number himself—that he couldn’t handle being around me for a moment longer lest he lose control of his desire—has me flushed with arousal all over again. Itshouldn’t—once again, that’s the kind of thing that usually turns me off, that makes me want to kick a man out of my bed instead of keeping him there. But the idea of Finn being overcome with desire because of me has my breath catching in my throat, my fingers trembling a little as I go to put his number into my contacts and make the call.
“Asha.” His voice comes over the line, thick and full of that rough accent that makes my pulse beat a little quicker.
“How did you know it was me?” I struggle to keep my voice even, to keep him from hearing the hint of breathlessness there. That’s thelastthing I want.
He chuckles. It’s a smooth, rich sound, and I wonder what he’d say if he knew that I’m still naked, lying atop my bed with my thighs still sticky with arousal and the toy I’d used while thinking of him lying next to me. “I don’t have so many people calling me at this hour that it wasn’t a good guess.”
“Who else might it have been?”Stop it.I didn’t call him to flirt, but it feels like I can’t help myself.
“My boss, maybe. But he forgives me when I call him by the wrong name.” That chuckle again. “You, on the other hand—well, I think we both know what you’d do.”
Desire flushes through me, hot and quick, burning over my skin. I knowexactlywhat he’s saying, and it’s all I can do not to tell him to come over, or to give me his address, to let me show him what I’d do to him for that, and everything else I can think of besides.
“I didn’t call you for phone sex. I’d be charging you for that.” I clear my throat, forcing back that throb of desire. “I called you to say I’d like to take you up on your offer. The—the job. Matvei,” I clarify, before he can make some other quip. “We can meet tomorrow, if you like, to go over the details. I’m off work, if you’re free for coffee.”
“Sounds like a date.” There’s that rich burr in his voice, thickening a little, and I close my eyes.How does he have this effect on me?
“It’s not a date. It’s professional.” I take a deep breath. “If I’m going to do this for you—no more coming to the club, Finn. Our relationship has to staystrictlyprofessional. Is that clear? I’m not going to fuck you while I’m working for you.”
“You haven’t fucked me at all,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice, but it vanishes almost immediately. “But, of course,” he adds, his voice suddenly firm and businesslike, as if that answer were always the obvious one. “Professional. I’ll meet you tomorrow—just text me the name of a spot you’d be comfortable at. I’ll meet you there. Would eleven in the morning work for you?”
“Sure.” I let out the breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding. “That’s fine. There’s a place called the Raspberry Leaf, it’s a tea and coffee shop. I go there sometimes on my days off—it’s a nice spot. I’ll meet you there.”
“Sounds good to me.” He hesitates for the briefest moment, as if there’s something else he’d thought of saying. “Goodnight, Asha,” Finn says finally, and then the phone clicks off.
I lower the phone to my lap, my hand still wrapped around it, my heart beating harder than it should. “Goodnight,” I murmur quietly to the empty room—and I know at that moment that I’ve almost certainly made the wrong choice.
Finn is dangerous to me. Not only because I want him—but because he wants me, too. The hardest work I’ll do for this job won’t be getting information from Matvei.
It’ll be keeping myself from falling into bed with Finn.
Finn
Ihang up the phone, slipping it back into my pocket, and stand there for a long moment, outside the back of the bar where I’d gone to have a drink.
I hadn’t expected her to make up her mind so quickly. I also hadn’t expected her to say yes.
You’re going to have to tread carefully, I tell myself, flicking the ash of my cigarette out onto the pavement. She’d made a point of telling me to keep it businesslike—which she shouldn’t have had to say, honestly. I’d been flirting with her from the moment I answered the phone, and I know better than that. This isn’t the Ashen Rose, and Asha won’t be working for me as an escort—at least not one I’m allowed to touch. That part of our relationship—such as it is—is over, and it was only ever meant to be a means for me to get her to agree to this.
I’m just going to have to deal with the fact that that means I won’t get to touch her again.
Put it out of your head,I warn myself, blowing a mouthful of smoke out into the darkness. There are plenty of women in Chicago, beautiful ones, women who are good in bed and who won’t tie me up in knots—literally and figuratively. Asha is a means to an end, a part of a job that I need to get done. I’ve assigned myself to keep her safe because I don’t trust anyone else to do it, not when I’m the one who put her in this situation in the first place, but in order to do that, I can’t be distracted.
