Page 34 of Ruthless Vows


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Finn pauses, his gaze catching mine with a sudden uncertainty that I wasn’t actually prepared for. He reaches up, his hand pausing halfway before he runs it through his already messy copper hair. “I heard dommes don’t always fuck their clients,” he says finally, the words slow, as if he’s recalling information he got from somewhere else. “That sometimes it’s about the—uh—lack of gratification or whatever. Or that they have to get themselves off. It’s aboutnotgetting to fuck you.”

His voice lowers, that rich accent thickening as his eyes narrow. “I can’t imagine being turned on bynotgetting to fuck you,” he murmurs, his gaze raking over me once more, as if to grab one more glimpse of what’s standing in front of him. “Not something I can imagine wanting. The opposite, actually.”

Finn takes a step closer to me, almost blocking out the dim light, his hands rubbing against the sides of his thighs as if in an effort not to touch me. “You want to know what wouldn’t be professional, Asha? Telling you right now how goddamn much I’ve been wanting to fuck you. How I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I left the Rose after that fucked-up orgasm you gave me. How right now, that’sallI want.”

I can feel myself starting to tremble.I want it, too.Something about this man is fucking magnetic, like he draws me to him with a word, a touch, just beingnearme. I need him as far away from me as fucking possible, before he gets me into trouble I don’t want to walk into again—but that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen.

Not unless I walk away from this job—and I have two reasons that I can’t do that now. Not just the money, but now that I’ve made plans with Matvei, he won’t let it go so easily. I’d be in more danger by standing him up than going alone with the plan.

I tilt my chin up to look at Finn, desperate to defuse the tension before this gets out of both of our control. “Matvei doesn’t want a domme,” I murmur, holding his gaze as I deliver the news that Finn clearly didn’t pick up on. “He wants a submissive. That’s what he wanted the night he came to the Rose. It’s what he still wants. And he isdefinitelygoing to fuck me tonight, Finn. That’s going to be the least of what he does to me.”

The last words are whispered, despite my best efforts. I know Finn hears the hint of fear there, the tremor that runs through them, and I swallow hard. “You shouldn’t be the one coming along,” I murmur, and his jaw tightens.

“Like hell.” He rubs his hand over the scruff of his beard, sucking in a deep, slow breath. “Maybe this wasn’t the right thing to do. Maybe we should call it off—”

I laugh bitterly. “We can’t do that now, Finn. The plans with Matvei are made. You think he won’t come and find me if I stand him up? He’s already been told no by Nikolai and had to swallow that. You think he’ll stand for being told no directly by a whore who’s already pissed him off?”

“I wish you wouldn’t call yourself that.” Finn reaches out, as if he’s going to touch my face and pull me closer to him, but I step back, my heels unsteady on the pavement.

“Why not? I’m a high-class escort at the Rose, but right now, I’m standing in a garage parking lot, waiting to go to an outcall. You paid me for sex, and so will he, and so will plenty of other men in the weeks to come. I am what I am, Finn. If you can’t handle that, then youdefinitelyshouldn’t be the one watching my back.”Or any other part of me,I want to say, but I don’t. I stare at him, waiting for him to back down, but he doesn’t.

“Call an Uber,” he says finally. “I’ll follow you on the bike to that address. But I’m not sending anyone else with you, Asha. It’s me or no one. If something happened to you and I wasn’t the one there to handle it—”

He breaks off, his jaw clenched tightly, and there’s a sudden sheen in his blue eyes that makes no sense. He doesn’t know me well enough for that. But I can see the determination in his face, and I know he’s not going to take no for an answer.

“Fine,” I bite out, turning away from him. I’m still throbbing from the acute awareness of how close he was, my lace panties clinging to the dampness between my thighs. I breathe in slowly, trying to push it away as I put in the request for an Uber. That, at least, ought to keep anything further from happening between us in the next ten minutes before it gets here.

Although with as high as the tension was between us, I’m not sure it would take either of us more than five.

I realize, as I look back to where he’s standing, that he’s put distance between us, too. His back is to me, one hand on the seat of his motorcycle, and at that moment, I think I’d give almost anything to see what the look on his face is, to try to have some idea of what it is that he’s thinking.

And at the same time, I know it’s better if I don’t.

There’s the sound of the Uber pulling up, and Finn turns to look at me, his jaw still tight. “I’ll follow you there,” is all he says.

Anything else that either of us might have said is drowned out by the sound of the engine of his motorcycle revving in the warm night air.

Finn

I’m a fucking idiot.

It’s all I can think as I watch Asha step into the car, my throat and chest tight at the sight of her; how fucking beautiful she is and how much I want her.

I want it to be my apartment that I’m taking her back to, my bed, instead of going with her as she goes to someone else’s.

EspeciallyMatvei Kotov.

I don’t know why I assumed he wanted her in any way but as a submissive. It’s my fault, I suppose, for not knowing enough about all of this—about what Asha does, about what it is that men like Matvei would want from her. And now I might have put her in more danger than before.

Did Nikolai want that from her?It had been hard enough to force myself not to think of them in bed together with Asha teasing and taunting him the way she had to me, but the idea of him doing entirely different things to her, of him having her on her knees, telling her in that deep Russian accent of his, exactly what he wanted her to do to him and watching her obey—the thought of it makes my gut twist with sick envy that makes me wonder how I’m ever going to look at him in the same way again.

The address takes us to a house some miles outside of the city, an imposing-looking brick home with an iron-gated fence around it. I follow the car through the gates as Asha is buzzed in, and my gut tightens with apprehension. Matvei meant it when he saidprivate—if there is trouble beyond what I can handle, it will take some time before anyone else can get here.

I’m waiting when Asha steps out of the car. Her beautiful face is smooth and expressionless, and I want to say something to her, but I don’t know what. I feel more out of my depth than I should, for being the one who is supposed to have her back in this.

She walks right past me without a word, and my heart slams against the walls of my chest, catching a breath of her perfume. I couldn’t have said what it was, something floral and vanilla, but I know all I’m ever going to think about when I smell it is that moment earlier this evening, when I had her between me and the seat of my bike, and I almost thought that she was going to give in.

It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to kiss a woman so badly. Since I’ve wantedanythingso badly. I forgot what it was like to feel an ache like this, to feel my pulse throb in my veins at someone else’s closeness, that catch of breath in my throat.

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