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“No, you’re not. Because you’re protecting her murderer as if that’s still Valerie in there when we know it’s not. She fooled you all once and now Beth is dead. You’re going to give her a chance to do it again? Whoever is next—their blood will be on your hands. All of you.”
I keep my eyes closed as I listen, failing to keep track of who’s saying what, though I know it won’t be long until they realize I’m awake. The pain in Wes’s voice burrows deep into my bones. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never heard him sound like that.
I try not to think of that night we’d all met at the diner, but it shoves itself into my mind anyway. The way he’d smiled so wide it looked like his lip ring would pop right out. How he’d held Beth’s hand on top of the table, like he was proud to show everyone that she was his. She’d blushed and batted her eyelashes at him, nothing short of adoration in the way she’d looked at him. They were a couple none of us expected, but as soon as they were in front of me, it made sense.
And now she’s gone. The girl who used to share her crayons with me in preschool and always smiled and waved at me in the hall even when I didn’t deserve her kindness.
And it’s all my fault.
It’s quiet inside my body now. I wait to see if V’s voice will appear too, but I don’t feel her presence anymore.
Is she really gone?
The world vibrates and jolts beneath me. Are we in a car? It feels too smooth for that. A plane? I’m lying on my side on something soft.
“It is Valerie now.” The voice is quiet and much closer to me than the others had been. Reid.
“So you say,” Wes mutters. “You want it to be her so bad you’d believe anything.”
“Why do you think they let us go?” asks a small voice—Kirby. It sounds like she’s in the front seat.
“Who let us go?”
There are a few audible gasps as I shakily push myself into a seated position, only now realizing I’d been lying on Reid’s lap. He keeps one hand braced on my back like he’s afraid I’ll fall over.
Around me is a sea of blue velvet—couches, reclining seats, compartments for luggage overhead.The estate train.I’m on one of the sideways-facing couches with Reid, the others scattered through the rest of the train car. It’s dark as pitch outside the windows, no city lights in sight.
I can feel Reid’s gaze on the side of my face as I take in the others—Monroe, Kirby, Daniel, Wes, Leif, Saint, Jones—but it’s Wes I choose to look at, as if he’ll be able to see the difference in my eyes now, to see that I’m as anguished about this as he is.
But his lip curls in disgust and he turns away.
“The wendigos,” Reid says beside me. “They were gathered around the boundary at Auclair. As everyone started evacuating, we worried they’d attack or that the fire would extend to the barrier and they’d be able to get through. But we passed right by them, and they barely looked at us.”
I know all too well if the wendigos let you get away, it’s because they want you to.
“What…what happened? How long was I gone?”
“Nearly a week,” says Daniel.
A week?It hadn’t even felt like a day in the shadow world.
“And the estate? The fire—was Westcott—?”
“We don’t think so,” says Reid, tension weighing on his features.
“This was all V?” I whisper.
This was all because of me.
“But why? Why the fire? What was she trying to do?”
“She wasn’t exactly forthcoming with her plans, but it seemed like she was trying to sabotage any attempts at peace with Westcott’s people. Valerie, I—I’m so sorry.”
My head snaps up at the crack in Reid’s voice.
“I fought her off as often as I could,” he whispers. “And I can’t remember everything she made me do, but I know she had access to information she shouldn’t have.” He rubs at his eyes. “I think I can remember her making me give an order—but I can’t remember for what or to who.”
I shake my head even though he isn’t looking at me anymore and squeeze his leg. “Of course I don’t blame you for that, Reid. But I don’t understand. What would she get out of sabotaging our plan?”
