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I don’t have a job or money, and I sold my car before I moved to this realm. Outside of this mansion, I have nothing.
My chest constricts painfully and I force myself to my feet, moving as quietly as possible to my room before shutting and locking the door behind me. It’s a measly attempt at solitude considering any of my men could easily break in if they wanted to, but I don’t want to talk to them right now.
I need to be alone, at least for a little while, to gather my thoughts.
To accept my fate.
I sit on the side of the bed, my head hung low and my eyes trained on the floor as my jumbled thoughts continue to whirl and the corners of my eyes begin to sting. Everything has been so perfect up until now, and it’s all crashing down around me.
I try to find some kind of silver lining about the situation, but I can’t. There’s nothing positive to cling to, nothing to keep me optimistic, and it seems like things are going to continue to crumble.
ChapterTen
AZARIUS
Ifelt confident suggesting we send Devyn home to keep her safe until Rafe left and Elio stormed out of the dining room. Now, I’m not so sure. It’s not like I want her far away from us, away fromme, but if it means keeping her safe, I’ll have to suck it up and let her go.
She’s going to be angry.
So angry.
But what else can I do?
Keeping her here puts her in grave danger, and while the three of us are willing to lay down our lives to protect her, there’s no promise that any other monster would do the same. No, it’ll be much easier for her to blend in with other humans until we can go back for her. It’s the way things have to be.
Then why does doing what’s best for her feel so shitty?
It’s my selfishness. It has to be. I want to keep her here with me, despite the danger it poses to us all. I want to fall asleep with her every night, fuck her every day, and never let her out of my sight. I want to be selfish, more than I’ve ever been before, and denying myself what I truly want is painful.
I hate it. I hate all of this, but I have to remind myself that it won’t be forever. The sooner we win this war, the sooner everything will be right again. The sooner Devyn will be here with me, and we can get the happily ever after we deserve.
After staring into the fireplace until my warring thoughts become overwhelming, I head for the stairs, dreading what I have to do. Someone has to break the news to Devyn, and I highly doubt it’ll be Elio. He was against this plan from the start. Of course he’ll make me break her heart since I’m the one that suggested it.
I just hope she’ll be able to forgive me.
I take the stairs slowly, trying to prepare myself for what lies ahead. I try to plan my words, but none come. My brain is a sieve, any coherent thoughts spilling out faster than I can latch onto them, and I’m moving on autopilot. My feet are heavy, but not as heavy as my heart as I make my way down the second floor hall.
For a moment, I simply stare at Devyn’s closed door, wishing there was some alternative. I would disappear with her to the farthest ends of the earth to keep her protected if I could. I’d leave everything behind to be with her, but it’s not possible. So much is at stake–my home, my realm–I have to stay and fight.
With a sigh, I knock on the door and wait for a response, which I don’t get.
“Devyn,” I call, rapping my knuckles harder against the wood in case she’s sleeping or in the bath and can’t hear me.
When she doesn’t answer, I reach for the handle to find it locked, and my stomach pitches toward the floor.
“If you’re busy, I can come back,” I say, hoping Elio is in there with her or something. Why else would she have me locked out?
“Go away, Azarius,” her voice finally answers. The tiny bit of relief I feel at her response is quickly drowned by more unease than I’d been plagued with minutes ago. She doesn’t want to see me?
“I tried to hurry back,” I say, unsure why she sounds so upset. Is it me? Did I do something? Did Elio already break the news to her and leave me to catch the aftermath? “Just let me in.”
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
Yep, Elio definitely told her already. Why else would she be mad? She knows about our plan to send her home, and she’s pissed.I’m going to kick his fucking ass after this. But not before I get Devyn to open this door.
“Devyn, please.” I sigh and lean against the doorframe. “Just talk to me and tell me what’s going on. Then I’ll give you space if you need it.”
“You should know what’s going on since it was your idea, Az. Now go away so I can pack my things in peace.”
