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She smiled at the poor college kid she’d hired to plow her driveway in the winter and take care of her yard during the non-snowy months. He’d been polite every time they’d interacted, but today he’d gone way above and beyond.
“Thank you again for bringing me to the hospital.”
He laughed. “I can’t believe you really thought you were going to drive yourself.”
“I was desperate—and determined. Not always a good combination.”
“I’m glad I showed up when I did.”
She glanced down at her baby boy. “Me, too. I can’t thank you enough. I’m sorry if I’ve scarred you for life.”
“No way; that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever been a part of!”
“You were a godsend. This blizzard really threw a wrench in my birth plan, that’s for sure. I never would have imagined my birth coach getting snowed in and not able to get here.”
“Just make sure I’m his favorite uncle—even if I’m only an honorary one.”
She chuckled as she imagined her brother’s reaction if he heard that. Just then, her phone pinged with a text, and she glanced at the screen. “Speaking of uncles, my brother is on his way. You really don’t have to stay. I’m sure you’ve got other things you need to do.”
“Actually, that was my dad who called. I told him what happened, and he’s on his way. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course.” She’d love to meet the man who’d raised such a great kid.
The nurse appeared in the doorway. “How’s everything going, Dr. Lacroix? Have you tried nursing him yet?”
Olivia kissed the baby’s soft dark hair. Nick was right—he did have a lot of it.
“Not yet.”
She hadn’t wanted to whip her boob out in front of Nick—she’d traumatized the poor kid enough. He’d kept his head above her waist, so he hadn’t been subjected tothat, but her yelling and squeezing his hand had been plenty.
As if sensing why she was hesitating, he said, “I’ll wait in the hall for my dad and give you some privacy.”
“Thanks.”
It only took a few tries before her son latched onto her nipple, and the nurse left her alone to breastfeed.
Olivia had so much love for this little person in her arms, yet she couldn’t help feel a twinge of sadness. She was going to raise him by herself. What if she fucked it up epically? What the hell did she know about boys? Sure, she could treat them for whatever ailed them, but what about the emotional stuff?
Yeah, her brother said he’d help her, along with her friends and parents, but she’d had to throw a temper tantrum before she could even get Evan to put the baby furniture together.
The fact that she’d had to rely on an almost complete stranger to hold her hand while her child came into the world just emphasized that keeping this little boy alive and well-adjusted was going to fall on her, and her alone.
And that was scary as shit.
She took a deep, calming breath through her nose and closed her eyes as she slowly released it.
I am a badass doctor.I can do anything I put my mind to.
Except what was going to happen when she had to go back to work? Then what? What if something happened while he was at daycare?
Ohmygod—someone else is going to raise my child!
A sense of panic crept through her. She’d had a few of these moments since finding out she was pregnant, but they usually passed quickly. She wasn’t afraid of being a mom—it’d been what she’d wanted for years, but she was scared of messing up royally. And once again, she wondered if she’d made a mistake getting pregnant without having a husband.
Olivia thought about how much she relied on collaborating with her business partner, Rose, when making important decisions for their practice. And that was just for her business. How was she supposed to raise a tinyhumanalone without screwing up?
She gently stroked his little cheek as she watched him take nourishment from her breast.
