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Screw that. I wasn’t standing here. I slid to the shower floor and closed my eyes. What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have asked him how he felt. I wasn’t expecting those answers. It was stupid, really. Whenever a woman asked those things, the man usually ran away. But like he said, he wasn’t like other men.
I banged my head against the shower wall. “You’re so fucking stupid.”
And what was I supposed to do now? Things were moving way too fast, and I wasn’t prepared for the battle ahead of me.
That battle being Eli.
“Sure, ask him where things go from here,” I said, slapping myself in the forehead. “Way to go. Lay down a challenge for him.”
The door swung open and Eli stared down at me curiously. “Everything okay in here?”
“Sure,” I lied. “Just too tired to move.”
He bent over and hoisted me up. “Well, you’re going to have to move. You can’t lay on the floor all day.”
I groaned as he dragged me from the shower and over to the bed. Within minutes, I was towel-dried and wore a shirt that was ten sizes too big. But it was really comfy and just what I needed to snuggle up and take a nap.
Eli pulled me down into his arms and pressed his body to mine, but my mind wouldn’t allow me to go to sleep, no matter how tired I was.
“Hey,” I nudged him. “Are you asleep?”
“No,” he mumbled. “But I’m trying to be.”
“I think we should talk.”
“Later,” he grumbled. “I’m tired.”
“Yeah, but—”
“But nothing. We just spent days running for our lives. We’re safe now, so lay your ass down and go to sleep.”
“I’m already laying down,” I pointed out. “But I can’t sleep. There are things we said and…we should really talk about this.”
He sighed and rolled over, releasing my body from his grasp. “Fine. What do you want to talk about?”
Wow, way to show enthusiasm for the conversation we really needed to have. “It’s fine. We can talk later.”
“Sarah, you just fucking woke me up to talk. So talk.”
“Actually, you were still awake, so I didn’t wake you up.”
A low growl emitted from his chest as he turned his steely gaze on me. “What do you want to talk about?”
I thought about not saying anything and just letting him go to sleep, but he did seem determined to talk now. I would be a fool to keep my mouth shut. “Okay, if you insist.”
“I insist. Just say whatever it is you need to say so I can get some sleep.”
“You know, you really aren’t making this very easy. If you don’t want to talk, just say so.”
“Sarah! Would you just fucking say whatever it is you want to say?”
“Alright, alright. There’s no need to yell at me,” I grinned.
He sighed heavily, resting his hand on my stomach as he turned toward me. His eyes were already drooping shut, so I knew I had to make this quick.
“I just think this is moving too fast. I mean, we’ve known each other for barely a week. I’m not even sure if it’s been that. I’ve lost track of my days. And most of the time, you’ve been yelling at me for not doing what you want me to do. Granted, we’ve been in a lot of high-pressure situations, but still, I’d think you could have just a little bit of patience with me while I try to deal with all the stuff thrown at me. Take, for example, when I had a bomb strapped to my chest. I went with the flow of things and tried not to freak out. That’s kind of what I think we need right now. Just to go with the flow and forget about all the crazy stuff that’s been happening. And we should definitely think about slowing down this crazy train we’re on. I mean, who knows someone for a few days and tells them they should move home with them? My life is in Chicago. My goldfish and cat are there. I can’t just pick them up and move them. Cats are notorious for not traveling well. And Leonidas just got used to his new fishbowl. Would it really be fair to him to move him all the way to Kansas in a rocking fish bowl? I’m not even sure fish can handle that much jiggling. Now, if you could find me a fish moving service, then we could talk… Maybe in a few years I would be comfortable with taking that chance. Leonidas is very special to me. And I have all Horatio’s books to think about. That’s a lot of packing. There are like…eleven books in that series, and I should really finish the one I’m on to make him comfortable before the move. Not to mention that I have to pack and find a job. I can’t just move out there without finding something new. I refuse to be one of those women who lives off her man. Come to think of it, I don’t even know what kind of house you have. Maybe you don’t have a house. Maybe you only have an apartment. Are they pet-friendly? And what about doctors in the area? Does Kansas have health care? What if I come down with smallpox? Will they be able to sufficiently take care of me? I should really check with my doctor first and make sure it’s safe. And let’s not even get started on hairdressers. Do you have any idea how long it takes to find someone to do your hair that you’re comfortable with? Six months,” I nodded. “At the very minimum. And then nail salons are another biggie. I can’t let just anyone give me a manicure. And those are just a few of the things I need to think about.”
I took a deep breath, feeling like I covered the majority of my issues.
