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I squeal and leap from the bed. He doesn’t release me right away, and I struggle against his grasp, tumbling onto the cold floor in a heap of duvet and gasps and trembling fingers.
Chase is awake now. With the duvet tangled around my ankles, it leaves him exposed. My eyes fall on the considerable length bulging from his pyjama bottoms, and my mouth goes dry. He shoves a pillow over it.
‘Fuck.’ His voice is rough with sleep again, but his eyes are wide. ‘I’m sorry.’
It’s normal. Morning erections are normal. Waking up next to Archer was my favourite time of day, because I’d back against him, and in his light sleep, his need would take over, and he’d push himself into me.
But it’s like I’ve never seen an erection before.
I stagger upright, fighting with the duvet, and I fling it at him.
‘I’m sorry.’ I trip over my own feet. ‘I need to—‘
‘Frankie,’ Chase says, but I’m already running from the room. I look back in the doorway to see him fall back against the bed, his hands on his face.
I take a very, very cold shower.
???
I spend the day with Miley sorting out the final preparations for her big day. She left Eloise with Chase, enabling us to go dress fitting. She already has her wedding dress, but she’s given up on trying to reach out to Genevieve, and I’m to take the girl’s place as bridesmaid.
It shouldn’t feel this sadistically good taking the place of Chase’s girlfriend, but I let myself be selfish today. I already sinned this morning after touching myself in the shower to the thought of Chase, so there’s no point stopping now.
She’s having a forest wedding, with garlands and lanterns and chairs bedecked in flowing drapes, and she wants neutral tones for the theme. Her dress is beautiful: jade green gossamer with a bow securing it at the back. The bridesmaids' dresses are a more earthy green. When I step out from behind the curtain, she squeals and claps her hands together.
‘Golly,’ she says. ‘You look like a princess.’
The material is light, and I love how the billowing skirts whisper across the floor with each step.
‘Do I have to wear heels?’ I ask. That’s one of the many things I don’t miss working as a hotel receptionist: the bloody heels. Taking them off each day was as relieving as unclipping my bra.
‘In a forest? Are you having a laugh?’ She snorts. ‘Even I’m not wearing heels.’
We check in with the florist to make sure the flowers will arrive by next week—which, surprisingly, are green. And then we visit the woman who is making the cake—a two-tiered, white-icing beauty stuck through with green flowers. And after that, we look around the venue: the ceremony is in the forest, and people are making last minute touches as we arrive. She wants the wedding held in the evening so the lights pave the path up to the arched altar. The manor house leading off the woodland is where the afterparty is being held; apparently, I’ll be sitting on the main table with the bride.
Before we head back to Chase’s, we grab a bite at a grill bar. I watch Miley demolish an Empire State burger, sauce dripping down her chin, and I envy her confidence to eat like that in public. I pick at my chips, replaying what happened with Chase over and over again.
Miley glances at my plate. ‘If you haven’t eaten those chips by the time I’ve finished my burger, I will.’
I set down my fork and bite my lip. ‘Don’t you think it’s weird?’ I ask. ‘How your brother hasn’t brought back his girlfriend?’
She does a little happy dance as she chews, but she frowns. ‘Not sure. I mean, Genny’s a self-employed beauty therapist, so she can’t take time off like Chase. But she hasn’t even returned my calls or replied to my texts.’ She shrugs, stealing a chip. ‘Maybe they’re having problems.’
I hate how much I like the sound of that. ‘You’ve never met her?’
‘Obviously not, otherwise I’d have known you weren’t her. I've seen pictures, but...’ She sighs. ‘My brother has never been one for relationships. His main focus has always been his career. So I was surprised he got with Genny at all.’
It’s true. Even at school he had his head down, concentrating on his grades. He was mocked for it by Archer, but I always thought it was sexy.Intelligenceis sexy.
‘He always talked about her when they first got together,’ Miley goes on, taking another chip. ‘But I got the impression he was trying to sell her on us, you know? Like he was trying too hard to get us to like her. God, I could never do that with Rich. I literally have nothing nice to say about the guy.’
‘Aren’t you marrying him?’
‘Didn’t say I don’t love him.’ She winks. ‘When you’ve been with someone as long as Rich and I have been together, love becomes a choice. He annoys the shit out of me most days, but I choose to ask how his day went and I choose to give him a foot massage even though I hate feet. Love is never unconditional. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like to keep the other person happy.’
Only if the other person returns that notion. Only if they’re as selfless with you as you are with them. Archer only picked up the other fifty percent of our relationship a handful of times—in fact, I could probably count on one hand the amount of times he pulled some weight. He never did his own laundry and he never washed up when I cooked and I never came home to a clean apartment.
If you dislike the person you’re with, sometimes all it takes is hearing them fart in their sleep to wonder what the fuck you’re doing with your life.
