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Archer’s gaze falls on Chase, still watching us from across the street. I’m relieved to find no malice or jealously in either of their expressions'. But a muscle ticks in Archer’s jaw as he turns back to me.
We talk some more. He tells me how he tried to take his own life shortly after I ended things, and I tell him I’m thankful he didn’t. He tells me he cut ties with his family, because he couldn’t stop thinking about what his mum did to him or what he saw his father do, and it wasn’t helping with his programme at all; I tell him I’m glad he had the courage to do that. He tells me he works at a cereal factory, something that has long, tiring hours, but it keeps him distracted and pays well; I tell him I’m happy for him. He tells me he’s been accepted into Southampton University because it has a great game development course there, and I tell him to choose happiness, always.
We don’t hug when we part ways. We just smile at each other, feeling light from the burdens we’ve just lifted from our chests.
I feel his eyes watch me as I fling up my umbrella and run across the street.
Chase is waiting for me. I smile at him, and he smiles back. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me.
‘I’m so proud of you,’ he whispers. ‘Every single day, I’m proud of you.’
He reminds me of that a lot. I won’t ever get tired of hearing it.
He takes my hand and holds onto it as we walk down the street. I glance up at the rainbow forming in the sky, grounding myself, feeling everything. Opening up my heart to every ounce of pain and shred of happiness I’ve felt this past hour.
‘Are you okay, Frankie Fart Fringe?’ Chase asks me.
He’s asked that every day for the past three months, and my answer has always beenI don’t know. Because for a while, I didn’t. I think of that mountain; maybe I’ll always be climbing it. Maybe that’s just life. Maybe some days I’ll tumble down a step, or find myself at the bottom staring up at it. But I know Chase will be there, every step, pulling me up when I can stand no more. We’ll help each other climb that mountain, however long it takes.
And maybe I didn’t find my forest after all. But that doesn’t mean that faraway dream isn’t achievable.
After all, Chase was once a faraway dream as well, wasn’t he?
I look up at the man beside me, and it’s taken me until now to realise that as long as he is with me, I’m home.
I haven’t experienced the worst day of my life yet, but I also haven’t experienced the best day, either.
But I am here. I am alive. I am breathing.
So I lean my head against Chase’s arm and squeeze his hand, and say, ‘Yeah, Chase.’ And I mean it. ‘I’m okay.’
