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Who the fuck knows? We've never had thewhat are we to each othertalk…
Until now.
"Speaking of commitment." I place Joey back on the floor. He has every right to give me the filthy look he does. He'd only just drifted off. "Sorry, buddy."
He stomps away and curls himself against the leg of the coffee table while I join Locky on the couch.
"I know we're just casual…and that's pretty much as far as my brain has gotten."
Locky smiles warmly. "Is that your way of saying you'd like something more?"
"Maybe." I look away. "But I can think of one big reason why nothing more can happen between us."
"And what's that?"
My gaze drifts back to him. "You."
"Me?"
I nod. "You're not ready for anything, and I respect that. You have a lot going on. I'm not trying to pressure you. Just wanted to let you know how you've got me feeling."
"Wanna know what the funny thing about feelings is?"
"Enlighten me."
Locky leans over and smiles at me. "They change."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I've been more assertive lately. I told the gang I didn't want to go ahead with their plans to hook me up with random dudes. I've been more open with you about what I want. I had an overbearing client come in today, and I told him I needed some space and asked him not to hover over me while I tried to figure out what was wrong with his ferret."
"You mean, apart from the fact that a grown man owns a ferret?"
"Exactly." Locky smiles again. "The point is, I'm learning to look inside, figure out what I want, and then go for it."
"I'm happy you're doing that."
"You're a big reason why I can do that. I feel safe with you."
My heart breaks out into a gallop hearing him say that. It's all I've ever wanted, to give him that sense of security so that he can use his voice and do what he wants, and not be pushed around by anyone.
"You said something once," he says. "Something about how me being a go with the flow guy would be a good thing as I navigated the next chapter of my life. And you're right… I want to go with the flow. With the flow I feel in here." He rubs his chest. "And the flow I feelhere." He moves his hand between us. "There's something happening between us. And I'm going to lay it all out there. It's a little scary. No. Scratch that. It's a lot scary. I've never felt like this about anyone so quickly. It's so big. So…unexpected. But you know what?"
I swallow. "What?"
"It's what I want.Youare whatIwant."
I smile even as my head and my heart go into battle. My head is holding back. Keeping distance. Reminding me that while I've made changes and am on track for a better life, I'm not there yet. And that if I let myself fall all the way for Locky, it's only going to be a matter of time before I fuck up again.
But my heart? My heart wants to take Locky's words at face value. Wants to allow me to be with this incredible guy. Experience all the ups and downs that come with being with someone. If being with him while we don't know what we are to each other has felt this amazing, how much better will it be once we define what we are and take the next step?
I don't know what to do, what to feel, what to think, or even what to say. But Locky's sitting back, peering at me with those beautiful blue eyes and a soft smile on his lips, and fuck, I melt. It's probably a mistake, and I may have to walk it back later, but I let my heart win this round.
"I want you, too."
Locky's face lights up in one of his massive smiles, and the space between us vanishes as he leaps onto me. I fall back onto the couch as we kiss.
A new entrant has entered the battlefield. My body. It's treacherous and can't be trusted. It enjoys the soft feel of Locky's lips too much. It engages in hand-to-ass warfare, kneading into his solid round butt with gusto. It embarks on a dangerous mission southward to the promised land of cock and balls.
