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He stops scrolling through his phone and squints at me, running the silver, thin-rimmed glasses back up his nose. "What'swhatreally like?"
"A one-night stand." I reach for a glass of water and drain half of it in one go.
"Meh. Overrated if you ask me. Kinda like jerking off with your non-dominant hand."
I snort. "What does that mean?"
Fulton places his phone on the table and turns to me. "Well, it's familiar and feels okay-ish. It's also not that great and a little awkward, but it gets you the desired outcome."
"Which is?"
"You tell me."
I blow out a heavy breath. "It's been two years."
Fulton fiddles with his red and yellow polka-dot bow tie. "Two years since…" He stops himself as soon as he realizes what I'm referring to. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"And there's been no one since?"
"Nope." My voice is small, barely audible over the music.
He adjusts his glasses. "And you're still not on any of the apps, are you?"
"Apps?"
"Yeah. You know, like Grindr, Scruff, Tinder, Woof, Growl, Squawk, Oink, Yay or..." Fulton throws his head back before letting out a very horsey, "Neiggggh."
"Okay, now you're just making animal noises."
He lowers his head. "True. But when did you realize?"
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that in two years of being single, you haven't used a single dating app. There's gotta be a reason for that."
My fingers circle the top of my glass as I think it over. Why aren't I on dating apps or having one-night stands? I've had three long-term relationships and been left with a broken heart each time. Fulton says it's because I give too much of myself. I treat my boyfriends too well. But isn't that how love is supposed to work? At their core, aren't relationships based on a foundation ofI treat him well, he treats me well? That hasn't exactly worked out that great for me so far. It takes two to tango, and I've been left solo on the dance floor more times than I care to remember.
I can't deny that the lonely pull in my heart has been getting stronger lately. A gentle curiosity stirs in my stomach. Maybe some simple, no-strings fun might actually be the thing I need right now.
A pool game is starting up between a bunch of guys in front of us. I notice one of the guys who’s just walked in, he’s tall and has shoulder-length blond hair. I crane my head a little to get a better look, but one of his friends shoves a pool cue in his hands and blocks my view.
"What if I want to do it?" I say. "Have a one-night stand, that is."
Fulton sits up a little taller and clears his throat. "Well, then. As your best friend, fashionista with exquisite taste, and one of the best veterinarians in all of Brookhaven, Virginia, let me offer you some sage advice, should you choose to resign from your position as President of the Blue Balls Society."
I let out a low chuckle. Fulton is quirky as fuck. He likes wearing funky colorful outfits, he celebrates his half-birthday since his actual birthday is on Christmas Day, and he listens to Mariah Carey Christmas carols...in June. He also happens to be the best friend a guy could ever hope to have.
I drain the remaining water. "Lay it on me."
"First, set your expectations to low."
"Okay."
"Once you've done that...lower them again."
"Geez, you're really selling it."
