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“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumbled, ramming the gas pedal once more, praying the tires would catch on something, really anything, and lurch me onward. Over and over again I attempted to make some ground, but all it did was dig a deeper and slicker hole for each tire.
“Ugh,” I pouted and leaned forward, my head bumping against the steering column and blasting the horn for a short moment. A tapping sounded against my window. Pulling my head off of the wheel, I glanced to my left to find Weston standing there with a sly, subtle grin across his face.
Pressing the button, the window cracked open, steadily widening with a soft plunk. “I’m assuming you saw most of that.” I glared at him as he chuckled.
“I may or may not have watched for a good few minutes.” His eyes sparkled with amusement.
I rolled mine in annoyance.
“What do you want?” I grumpily replied.
He threw his hands up in the air, the stiffness quickly returning to his frame in response to my cold words.
“I came to offer a tow,” he sharply replied as the amusement fell from his face, back to the cold shoulder he had been giving me during our first Razor ride.
“That would be appreciated.” My eyes slid away from his intense gaze, ashamed I’d snapped, but frustrated all the same. What was up with me struggling to control my emotions lately? Snapping at my mom, snapping at a stranger, crying at random times, and getting upset in situations that weren’t really in my control. None of that was like me.
Cancer.
The single word came to my head as Weston quietly walked to the front of my car to attach a tow strap. I was exhausted, knowing that in a sense I was completely helpless in stopping the loss of my father. My dad would soon be gone, leaving my mom alone. Leaving me even more alone in this world.
Her concern this entire time, my mom’s pressure from last night was because she was afraid too. Afraid that I would always be alone as she was about to be. My company would never be as my father’s has been to her. A child was not the same as a spouse and never should be. They had taught me that, and shown me what a healthy relationship was supposed to be like. At least two out of their three kids had successfully achieved that kind of love as well.
Not me, though. And the longer I was alone, the more I feared that it would be something I’d experience forever.
The car lurched forward, so I pressed the gas pedal softly. Smoke blasted from Weston’s truck and then we were off, the strap dragging me forward behind his matte black, older generation Dodge.
He was lucky. He had family and a lot of it as it seemed today. His parents, Cassidy, at least one other brother, plus kids running around. Even the cowhands seemed to listen to him give orders despite the fact that he wasn’t the foreman.
He wasn’t alone.
I was finding myself oddly jealous of a stranger I barely knew as we slowly made our way down the road. His life seemed beautiful; where he lived was absolutely stunning. Even as the deathly snow fell in silence amongst the whine of his engine, I couldn’t help but marvel at the wonder around me.
Sheer, clean white coated the branches of pine trees and almost every inch of exposed ground around us. Any scrap of light reflecting off of the newly delicate surface seemed to signify the beginning of a new stage in life. Animals would go into hibernation while others would begin to explore the frosty wonderland that was slowly filling the mountains.
My life was doing the same thing, moving into a new stage, and one I wasn't accepting. Dread and fear had seemed to encapsulate every bare parcel left exposed instead of excitement and acceptance. I took a deep breath, vowing to do better, to start fresh, and enjoy what little time may be left with my father.
This wasn’t the time to mourn; no, this was a time for celebration while both of my parents would still be here for Thanksgiving and hopefully Christmas. Maybe even New Year’s. However long or short, I would take this time to enjoy every moment with them and work hard at my career. Progressing in life the best way I could.
Weston slowed to a stop at the edge of the drive, as the snow was thinner here and cars had already cleared some sort of pathway along the main road. I pressed the brakes as he exited his vehicle, his boots imprinting into the snow as he walked in my direction.
I opened my door as he squatted down in front of my car. “Thank you!” I shouted.
He stood up, the end of the tow strap in hand.
“You know it’s not safe to drive on that donut. Why haven’t you gotten it changed yet?” he asked, leaning against the hood, keeping his face emotionless.
“Haven’t had time,” I replied, crossing my arms on top of the door.
“Well get it fixed or you ain’t gonna make it far into winter driving that thing here.” He turned around without so much as a smile and began rolling up the strap. I couldn’t figure him out. He was hot and cold, flipping between the two moods so quickly it was giving me whiplash. Without another word, he tossed it into the backseat and then climbed into his truck, leaving me alone in snowy silence.
My shoulders sagged and I slid back into my car, annoyed. Inching forward, I crept past his truck, turned onto the road, and began the slow trek back to the clinic.
∞∞∞
I placed a chart onto the receptionist's desk beside the sweet, curly brown-haired, twenty-year-old girl I’d met upon returning from the Duke Ranch several days ago, having just finished my last report from the day.
“Make sure Ms. Vanderbilt comes and gets the prescription today,” I said, smiling as Elena happily slid the chart from my hand. Today felt like another step towards growth. Doc had me take all of the small-animal appointments solo for today, and even one horse appointment.
