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Chapter 4
Exhaustion crashed through me as I was driving home that night. Never before had I felt so wonderfully tired and proud of myself. Dinner from my parents was delightful—homemade meatloaf from my mother, who really did seem to be doing well. There was a small part of me that wondered if she’d just used my dad’s cancer and her stroke as an excuse to get me home. Though I would’ve come regardless. She shouldn’t have to go through this alone, no matter the fact that my siblings lived only one town over.
Dad seemed to be having a better day today than he was yesterday. Even joined in on a round of UNO tonight with my mom before I turned in. They’d asked all about my day and I told them about the diagnosis I’d made on the two heifers.
“You met Cassidy Duke?” my mother screeched when I finished telling her the story.
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Mom. I did.”
“He’s so handsome, isn’t he? And he’s single. Like you!” she added, that ever-scheming sparkle returning to her eyes.
My dad chuckled, coughed, and then waved a frail hand. “Leave her be, Rosemary. She will date when she wants to.”
“Thank you,” I mouthed to my dad who gave me a rough wink.
“Oh Charlie. If I leave it up to that girl, she will be single forever. Already twenty-six without a prospect in sight.” She placed a card down on the table and I drew one.
“Mom. I have been working hard at school and—”
“Where you should’ve met a decent fellow and already been snatched up,” she cut me off.
My dad placed a card and said a weak, “UNO”.
“I did date a few guys, so lay off,” I grumbled as she placed a yellow two.
“And yet, you didn’t come home with any of them. I think I’ll call his mother tomorrow and make sure—”
“Don’t you dare!” I shrieked and slammed a draw four down on the pile, stopping my dad from playing his final card. “I am already going there tomorrow for some work and don’t need you meddling in things like that.”
“If you take too long, your father won’t be able to see you get married. Or walk you down the aisle,” she muttered under her breath.
My father finished drawing his four cards and it was her turn. But I couldn’t take it anymore, not with that comment. It wasn’t like I’d been avoiding dating. I really had tried. Four different times. Two of them cheated, the other two didn’t want me to finish my degree and become a vet.
“I think I’m going to bed,” I whispered, biting back a tear, and pushed myself away from the table. A pleasant evening turned sour in a matter of a comment.
“Tenley,” my father wheezed.
I leaned over, planting a kiss against his forehead, and then faced my mom.
“I think about that nearly every day, Mom. I can’t imagine getting married without both of my parents there, but I won’t force it either. I deserve to be as in love with whomever I marry as you and dad are.” Then I turned and headed towards the stairs, the tears finally falling down my cheeks.
Every little girl dreams about the beautiful white dress she will wear as she walks towards the man that she loves more dearly than anything else. Her hand tucked in her daddy’s elbow as he guides her towards her future. And that was something that I was about to be deprived of. Something I knew all too well could be ripped away at any moment.
The moment I’d heard the news, dating had been pushed towards the furthest point of priority. Being there for my parents, helping support them in their medical bills, and my mom through the loss of her spouse seemed more important than something as selfish as falling in love.
After a quick shower, I let my wet hair drape around my shoulders and down to my lower back. It was so long it often got in the way, which was why I mostly wore it in buns or ponytails. Another reason that I probably lacked in the boyfriend department.
As the anger and grief escaped my soul, I leaned back against the headboard on my bed. Maybe she hadn’t said that out of chastisement, but because of fear.Maybe it was more important to her than I had previously thought. She wanted me to have someone as much as I did, probably because of the love she shared with my father.
All the suppressed desires I’d fought to keep at bay crashed forward in a moment. I’d wanted a love like I’d seen growing up. One that showed me sacrifice and joy. Prioritizing each other and making each other laugh, even on the most sorrowful of days. Teasing each other, complimenting each other, and always telling each other how much they loved one another.
That’s what I’d wanted, more than becoming a vet. But when my first boyfriend had cheated, I pushed harder towards my dream career. And it seemed that’s what I’d been afforded.
A soft knock sounded on my door. “Tenley, honey?” My mother’s soft voice penetrated the dark room.
“Come in, Mom,” I answered, and the silver knob twisted before that beautiful woman entered. “I’m sorry,” I quickly added as she sat down on the edge of my bed. After I scooted towards her, she slung a warm arm around my shoulders.
“I know it’s a sore subject and you don’t purposefully stay away from love. But I also know how much you’ve desired it since you were a little girl. You, out of all three of my children, was the one I thought would be married first. The least likely to end up with a career.” She ran her hand up and down my arm.
