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“Yeah. You’re definitely a scientist.”
—
“All rise,” said the bailiff, “the United States District Court for the Western District of Washington is now in session. The Honorable Justice Meredith Spencer presiding.”
The entire courtroom stood as the judge took her seat.
“Be seated,” the bailiff said. He handed the justice a folder. “Your Honor, today’s case isIntellectual Property Alliance v. Project Hail Mary.”
The judge nodded. “Plaintiff, are you ready for trial?”
The plaintiff’s table was crowded with well-dressed men and women. The eldest of them, a man in his sixties, stood to answer. “We are, Your Honor.”
“Defense, are you ready for trial?”
Stratt sat alone at the defense table, typing away on her tablet.
The justice cleared her throat. “Defense?”
Stratt finished typing and stood. “I’m ready.”
Justice Spencer gestured to Stratt’s table. “Counselor, where is the rest of your team?”
“Just me,” she said. “And I’m not a counselor—I’m the defendant.”
“Ms. Stratt.” Spencer took off her glasses and glared. “The defendant in this case is a rather famous intergovernmental consortium of scientists.”
“Led by me,” said Stratt. “I move to dismiss.”
“You can’t make motions yet, Ms. Stratt,” said Spencer. “Just tell me if you’re ready to proceed.”
“I’m ready,”
“All right. Plaintiff, you may begin your opening statement.”
The man stood. “May it please the court and ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name is Theodore Canton, counsel for the Intellectual Property Alliance in this action.
“During this trial, we will show that Project Hail Mary has overstepped its authority in the matter of digital data acquisition and licensing. They have, in their possession, a gigantic solid-state-drive array upon which they have copied literallyevery single pieceof software that has ever been copyrighted, as well asevery singlebook and literary workthat has ever been available in any digital format. All of this was done without payment or licensing to the proper copyright holders or intellectual property owners. Furthermore, many of their technological designs violate patents held by—”
“Your Honor,” Stratt interrupted. “Can I make motions now?”
“Technically,” said the justice, “but it’s irregul—”
“I move to dismiss.”
“Your Honor!” Canton protested.
“On what grounds, Ms. Stratt?” said the justice.
“Because I don’t have time for this bullshit,” she said. “We are building a ship to literally save our species. And we have very little time to get it done. It will have three astronauts—just three—to do experiments we can’t even conceive of now. We need them to be prepared for any possible line of study they deem necessary. So we are giving them everything. The collected knowledge of humankind, along with all software. Some of it is stupid. They probably won’t need Minesweeper for Windows 3.1, and they probably don’t need an unabridged Sanskrit-to-English dictionary, but they’re going to have them.”
Canton shook his head. “Your Honor, my clients don’t dispute the noble nature of the Hail Mary Project. The complaint is in the illegal use of copyrighted material and patented mechanisms.”
Stratt shook her head. “It would take a ridiculous amount of time and energy to work out licensing agreements with every company. So we’re not doing it.”
“I assure you, Ms. Stratt, you will comply with the law,” said the justice.
“Only when I want to.” Stratt held up a sheet of paper. “According to this international treaty, I am personally immune from prosecution for any crime anywhere on Earth. The United States Senate ratified that treaty two months ago.”
