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“Oh, uh… I can probably find you something to eat.” Grocery shopping just so happens to be on my list for this weekend. My hunt for sustenance lands on the discarded candy she delivered. “How about a KitKat?”
She jumps in place to approve of my suggestion. “Yes, please. Those are my favorite.”
“Really?” I set myself in motion to separate one package from the bunch.
“Uh-huh. Just like you, and thanks so super much.” Sydney eagerly snatches the chocolate from my outstretched hand.
“We have good taste in common, huh?” I lift mine to tap against hers.
She flops onto the rug that extends beyond my dining table and begins happily munching on her snack. “No, I mean you’re my favorite.”
I sit down on the floor beside her. A previous conversation with Jake floats to the surface. “You’re my favorite too. Just don’t tell the others.”
Syd giggles. A skinny finger presses to her mouth that’s now smeared with chocolate on top of the red lipstick. “I’m super good at secrets.”
“Then this will be ours.” I nudge her shoulder with mine.
She goes quiet for a moment, which immediately rouses my guard. “Do you wanna have babies like Miss Joy?”
I choke on my bite of KitKat. “Mhmm?”
Syd cuddles against me. “You’d be a super good mom.”
And that comment creates a hot lump in my throat. After I manage to swallow the crispy wafer crumbs, I fix a strained smile at her. “That’s a really great compliment, superstar. I’d like to have kids someday. We’ll have to wait and see. But if I do, I hope they turn out to be as sweet as you.”
She gives me her signature megawatt grin, but only for a moment. The gleeful expression slips into a crooked slant. “I don’t think my mom is gonna visit me ever again.”
Even a cannonball blast couldn’t warn me that this bomb was following the first. My next inhale is noisy and sharp, betraying the drop in my belly. As I contemplate how to respond, I’m almost tempted to remind her about the nonexistent love of my life that held so much interest earlier. I was wrong about that sticky situation. As it turns out, this is the last topic I want to address.
My palm rubs soothing circles along her back. “I’m sure your mom will come see you soon, Syd. She must miss you a lot.”
She sprawls flat on the floor. “If she missed me, she would wanna be with me every single day. She doesn’t even call anymore.”
“Have you tried to call her?”
“Uh-huh.” Her head bobs to a defeated beat. “She doesn’t answer, though.”
The ache that spreads through me is crippling. Heat fills my eyes as I try to find words that will comfort her. “Your dad is really great. He loves you more than anything. His heart might burst with how much he cares for you.”
“That’s a lotta love.” She spreads her arms as wide as they’ll reach.
“It is. He’ll always be there for you.” Which serves to deliver another wave of moisture across my vision. My father isn’t with me in the physical sense, but I can still feel him watching over me all these years later.
Sydney nods against the rug. “My daddy is the bestest.”
“Which is pretty awesome to brag about, right?”
“Yep!” She bolts upright, nearly cracking our foreheads together. “Can you pretend to be my mom?”
I almost tip over sideways. My palm smacks the hardwood to regain some semblance of balance. “What?”
“You can be my fake mom.” The determination in her voice sends dread skittering down my spine.
“I don’t think that’s a thing.” Not to mention, extremely likely to create upset.
“Why not? It’s just like when I play dress up with my imaginary friends. But you’re real, which is soooo much better. Then I’d kinda sorta have a mom all the time.”
“But you have a mom.” My reminder is issued in a level tone that hides the tremble I’m experiencing everywhere else.
