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With the fire roaring, beer bottles open and laughter carrying over my property, it feels good to be among friends even though I know they’re here to ask about Iris.
When we all sit down, I’m hoping that one of the chairs is left open next to me, but as luck would have it, Holly takes one while Maylene takes the other. I can already feel the tag team coming on.
“Where are the girls?” Lori asks.
“They’ll be here next week. It was a tough sell tryin' to get Stormy back here.”
“I can’t believe Iris is gone,” Maylene says. She takes a long pull off her beer and stares out into the fire. When we were growing up, they were best friends. But when I became famous, Iris found new friends and didn’t have time for Maylene. It wasn’t until Iris moved out that Buck, Quaid, and I started hanging out again. I hated how Iris ruined friendships, but thankful that my friends saw through her bullshit.
I keep glancing back at the house, wondering what Zara is doing. I should be inside, groveling for forgiveness, but instead, I’m outside with my friends, who happen to think I’m lonely. They must’ve conveyed as much to Holly because she’s leaning so far over her chair that she’ll likely be on my lap after a few more beers. That is something I can’t have happen.
“You know, Levi,” Maylene says as she leans toward me. “Holly is dying to tell you that she’s a huge fan.”
“Shut up, Maylene.” I can tell by looking at Holly that she’s embarrassed. Holly’s cute with her shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes. She’s dressed like every other female around here with tight jeans and boots. Truthfully, Holly is the type of girl that I would go for, which is probably why Maylene brought her over.
“It’s okay, Holly. Maylene likes to embarrass me as well.” My comment gets Holly to smile. I find myself smiling back, but it quickly goes away when I realize that I want it to be Zara who I’m smiling at.
zara
Nineteen
I have never feltlike someone on the outside until now. Listening to Levi and his friends laugh and carry on really makes me feel like I’m the odd man out, and maybe I am. Part of me is angry that he invited people over, knowing that I’m here hiding out from the world, but I get it because this is his house. It’s not some cottage in the middle of nowhere, and I shouldn’t expect him to live like a hermit because I’m here. The other part of me wants to get dressed and go outside to join them, to get to know his friends and see this side of him. I want to hear what makes him laugh, be there to witness what makes him smile, and see if I can fit into his circle because I don’t think he’ll fit into mine.
I can’t imagine Levi sitting around the table with Darian or talking music with Hayden and Freddie. The only person I think Levi fits in with is my mother, and that’s because she loves everyone.
I dress quickly, slipping on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt, along with a pair of boots that don’t match anything that Levi would wear. Standing in front of the mirror I realize that my platinum and purple hair likely stands out among Levi’s friends and quickly pull my beanie off the mirror and tuck my hair away. If I’m going to go out there, I want to make an impression on his friends through my personality and not the way I look.
I expect the house to be dark when I step out into the hallway, but there’s a soft glow coming from various lights, making sure that you are safe from stumbling your way through the darkness. From the kitchen, I can hear their laughter and hurry toward the door. The problem is I don’t want to startle anyone by approaching them in the darkness. I could call Levi, but what are the chances that he has his cell phone with him and how awkward would that be?
I hesitate before opening the door, moving away and going back until I finally find the courage to open the sliding glass door and step out onto the deck.
If they hear or sense me, they don’t stop talking nor is anyone turning around to see who is coming near them.
From where I’m approaching, Levi’s back is to me. He’s sitting between two women, and instantly I’m jealous. I’m not hurt like I was when I found Van with that assistant, but I’m upset because I thought that what Levi and I shared today could be the beginning of something special. I know I’m stupid to think like that. Neither of us is in a place to pursue anything romantic.
“Are you lost?” I hear a stern male voice. He’s standing on the edge of the circle with his arms crossed. “This is private property, and you’re trespassing.”
“I’m Levi’s—”
“Nah, that isn’t how things work around here sweetheart. I suggest you leave before I help you.”
“Zara?” Levi’s voice pierces through the darkness.
“Hi,” I say.
“Do you know this intruder?” the man asks.
“She’s not an intruder, Buck. She’s my friend.”
Friend could mean anything, but it’s better than saying she’s a woman I know or someone I kissed earlier today. Friend, I can live with.
“Are you joinin' us?” Levi asks.
“If it’s okay?” I ask.
“Of course it is.”
The man who tried to kick me out stares down at me as I pass. I half expect him to follow me, but he disappears into the darkness. The two women next to Levi are watching my every move and neither of them is offering up their seats. Not that I expected them to but figured one would make the gesture. There are two open seats, one next to the cooler and one next to a man who doesn’t seem to give a crap that I’m here, which is fine by me.
