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“But I told him I had a guy in Kill Devil Hills when I was negotiating.”
He groaned.
“I’m surprised all the women you’ve screwed since you left me haven’t thrown him off.”
His face contorted with rage, and he leaned toward me, his body shaking with anger. “Say what you like, Ellie, but the minute I joined my soul with yours, Ibecameyours. Completely. You’re the one who ran away. You’re the one who doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Can you blame me? You’re just a man whore who uses people to get what you want. You told me so yourself.”
“Goddamn it, Ellie. I tried to resist you. I tried not to sleep with you. You’re the one who taunted and tempted me. I’ve never put so much effort into not sleeping with a woman in my life.”
“Finally!” I shouted. “Your first truthful answer since I showed up here tonight.” His desire for me had been so evident when we joined our marks, yet guilt had kept him from following through until I drove him crazy enough to cross the line. “But you’re right. I coerced you into sleeping with me. I just didn’t realize what the consequences would be.” I laughed, but it was a bitter sound. “Everyone who fucks up says that, huh?” I turned to him. “Isn’t that what you keep telling me? You didn’t mean to screw up my life?”
Hope filled his eyes. “Exactly!”
“And yet I’m stuck in this hell, and you get to live your life like nothing ever happened.”
His eyes glittered with rage. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You know what you mean to me. You’ve felt it, Ellie…and I’ve felt it with you. If you want to sit there and pretend it doesn’t exist, then go ahead and do it. But who’s the liar now?”
“What we have between us isn’t real, Collin!” I shouted, balling my fists. “What we have is hormones and magic. Nothing more and nothing less.”
“Not real?Are you kidding me?” I’d never seen him so angry. “This is the most real thing either us willeverexperience, but if you want to throw it away out of pride and immaturity, go ahead. I’m done begging.” He opened his door and jumped out of the truck, grabbing his underwear off the ground and stepping into them. He glared at me as he pulled them over his hips. “You must love this. You think I’m a man whore, and I’m standing here groveling. I bet you’re eating this shit up.”
“Screw you, Collin!” I shouted. “Don’t you go and act like I’m the one who hurt you!”
“You think you’re the only one with feelings?”
“I don’t think you’ve ever felt a goddamned feeling in your life.” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. They hung in the air, and I watched the last bits of hope and softness slide out of Collin’s body.
“Yeah, you’re right, Ellie.” He pulled up his jeans and fastened them, flashing me an ugly sneer. “You were just another fuck. I’ll admit that you were a good one, which is why I hated for things to end. I wasn’t bored with you yet, but if you want to move on first, I can live with it.”
I knew it wasn’t true, but his words ripped my heart to shreds.
He picked up my panties and lifted them to his face to smell them before tossing them at me with a leer. “I’m going to miss fucking you, but I might miss going down on you even more.”
My breath caught at his crassness. Never once in the time we’d been together had he ever talked to me this way. Not even in the beginning, when he’d been full of resentment. “Don’t be ugly, Collin.”
“Why not? Look at the way you’ve been acting.” He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. “Get out of my truck.”
Anger rushed through me. “Not until you give me the map.”
“I’m not giving you anything. Now get out of my truck.”
“No!”
He lunged across the seat and opened the passenger door, pushing me toward the opening.
I tried to grab hold of the dashboard, but my hands slipped. “You owe me that map, Collin. What the hell do you need it for? Why won’t you give it to me?”
An ugly look spread across his face. “I thought you would have figured me out by now, Ellie. I don’t need a reason to keep it. That fact that you want it is reason enough.” He gave me one last shove out the door.
The gravel poked my bare feet and I stumbled to remain upright as Collin slammed the door.
I gaped at him through the open window. “You’d let those monsters kill me?”
He tossed my T-shirt and panties out the window at me. “You know what you need to do to save yourself.” He started his truck and backed out, shooting gravel in every direction as I jumped out of the way.
I really was as good as dead.
