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“But this is different.” I tried to settle the anxious feeling in my chest. “This is so very different.”
He put his arm around my back, snugging me against the side of his body. “I reacted badly last night and I’m not proud of it, but I’m only human. But I’m glad I told you how I really felt instead of bottling it up inside. We need to know where we stand with each other.”
I nodded.
He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. “Tell me howyoufeel, Ellie.”
I sat up straighter. “About what?”
“About anything.”
“I’m not happy that you’re going into that office building without me.”
His mouth tilted into a lopsided grin. “I knew that already. Tell me something I don’t know.”
“There’s nothing.”
“That’s shite and you know it. Tell me how you feel about not including Collin in this trip to Charlotte?Really.”
I looked at our joined hands, unsure how to answer. But he wanted the truth. “I understand why you don’t want him there and I can’t argue—you have valid points, after all—but I still think we should include him. Call it a gut instinct.” He stayed silent, though it was obvious he wanted to say something. “But I want to give you more input in how we do things, which is why I’m going along with your request.”
“But you resent me for it.”
“No.” I took a breath to steady my voice. “I resent myself for letting this happen.”
“Are you sorry you’re involved with me, Ellie?”
I looked up into his worried eyes. “Not in the way you think. You may have acted like my connection to Collin didn’t bother you in the beginning, but I knew it was something we couldn’t ignore. Still, I don’t regret a single minute I’ve spent with you. Selfish or not, I can’t imagine having gone through any of this without you. But if I were a better person, I would have done things differently. I would have protected you from the pain I’m putting you through right now.”
His gaze dropped to our joined hands, and I realized how tenuous our connection was. My connection to Collin was eternal and out of my control, but my connection to David was like a thread that could snap at any second.
“David, you made me a promise not to leave me, but just like when we set the rules, you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into.” I lowered my face so it was underneath his. “I’m telling you that you aren’t bound by that promise.”
He shook his head, sadness filling his eyes. “Ellie, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Neither am I.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for several moments before I squared my shoulders. “I want to know more about your plan for tomorrow.”
He released a heavy breath. “I don’t really have one. Like I said, I just want to inventory what they have for now, and if an opportunity arises that I can take advantage of, I’ll do it.”
“How will you know what to look for? I had no idea which one of Allison’s swords to use until Tsagasi helped me. From the sounds of it, there are lots of weapons in the collection.”
David turned my right hand over and traced the circle on my palm with his fingertip. “Our only course of action is for me to go in and check it out; then you and I can figure out where to go from there.”
“David, I’m scared.”
He tugged me against him, fitting my head under his chin as he held me close. It was a warm and familiar contact that felt natural, like coming home. I wrapped my arms around his back and held him tight.
“I know, Ellie, and so am I. And I know you’d probably be more comfortable if we had an elaborate plan like whatever Collin would come up with, but in this case, I think the simpler, the better.”
I forced a smile and glanced up at him. “Actually, Collin seems to go for simple too. So maybe you two aren’t such opposites after all.”
He didn’t look happy with the comparison.
“Just don’t take any unnecessary risks,” I said, “and don’t ask too many questions either.”
He nodded, then let go of me and stood. “Let’s get to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”
