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I tilt my head against the headrest, watching the lights skim over Hiro’s profile. “How far away is your cabin?”
“We’ll drive through the night,” he says, flicking a glance at me. He leans over, pulling his jacket over my lap. “Warm enough?”
I nod. It feels surreal to be driving through the dark, the warm air from the vents blowing around me, Hiro’s big hands wrapped around the steering wheel. Something stirs in my belly, and I wonder if he remembers that night in Henry’s Manhattan apartment when I kissed him. He’d opened the door we were using for Seven Minutes in Heaven, and I registered his presence immediately. I didn’t question why he was there, but pulled him in, sliding my hands into his silky hair and took advantage of the element of surprise to do exactly what I’d been fantasizing about for months at that point. I’d still swear he kissed me back before he firmly set me away from him, called me irresponsible, and shut the whole party down.
3
CHRISTMAS
My fingers curl into my palms as I watch Katie sleep. She’s always been a beautiful girl, but it was easy to ignore it when she was sixteen and wild. Now she’s all grown up and I can’t deny the fear that slid down my spine when I think about what might have happened to her last night if I hadn’t shown up. Her auburn hair is tangled, her makeup is smudged and she’s wearing some ridiculous mash-up of an outfit that’s somewhere between a sexy schoolgirl uniform and a cheerleader elf. I didn’t notice last night until I heard the faint jingle of bells, but even her earrings are Christmas-themed. Little dangling bells with red and green plaid bows. I’m not a Christmas-lover but something about the way the bells tangle in her long hair tugs at my heart.
It’s just for a few days. I can manage a few days. I definitely can’t manage a few days with her in that outfit however, which is why I’m sitting in the parking lot of a big box store about two hours from my cabin waiting for Katie to wake up. I lean across the console and gently shake her arm. Her lips part and a tiny snore, almost a snuffle, escapes. I reluctantly smile. She’s so damn cute it makes my chest hurt. I’ve always been in awe of her. She’s always been the coddled baby of the Black family, and all that adoration resulted in confident, smart, funny person who could talk to anyone and charm everyone around her. As a shy, quiet introvert, being around Katie was like a day at the beach. Sometimes loud, sometimes too bright, but you couldn’t make yourself leave, because the sunshine felt so good, and then by nightfall you were exhausted.
Her lashes flutter and she opens her eyes, smiling at me sleepily. My heart stutters. I try to think about the last time I woke up with a woman and I can’t. Sex is necessary, transactional, but it doesn’t have to be all-night affair. Of course, Katie and I didn’t have sex, but that sleepy smile does something to me anyway.
Recognition sets in and the smile fades from her face. “Hiro?” She roughly massages her temples. “Are we at your cabin?”
I shake my head. “No.” I point out the window. “We’re going shopping.”
She turns. “In there?” She glances down at herself, still covered by my jacket. “In this?”
I shrug. There’s no help for it. I couldn’t stop by her apartment, and she needs some stuff. “I’d prefer not to be too long, but you need some essentials.”
We get out of the car, and she stretches. At least there aren’t too many people here this early, but her outfit is going to raise some eyebrows, especially here where the customers look to be seniors and people getting an early start to the day. I shake out my jacket and drape it around her.
Inside, I’m accosted by more Christmas music and large inflatable decorations. I should be at my cabin already, surrounded by snow and silence. Instead, I’m following a tiny red-headed elf into the seventh circle of hell as she walks right past the snowsuits and into an aisle filled with stuffed toys gyrating to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”. I wince and plunge after her, trying to block out the noise. I distract myself by trying to catch a glimpse of her peach-perfect butt, but alas, it’s covered by my jacket. I shouldn’t even think about her in that way. Henry wants me to protect her, not lust after her.
“What kind of Christmas décor do you have at your cabin?” She turns her big, baby blues up at me, those long, dark eyelashes fluttering. She puts a finger to her cheek, tapping as she considers. “Is it après ski? Lots of Nordic influence? Or maybe country Christmas, with lots of rustic wood pieces?”
“I don’t have any.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
I shrug. “It’s just another day and I’ll head to see my family just before New Year’s, so I don’t bother.”
“Just another day?” Disbelief colors her words. “Christmas isn’t just another day, and it’s not just a day either. It’s the anticipation of all the days leading up to it. Decorating, listening to Christmas music, watching all of those cheesy Christmas movies, eating all the holiday baking.”
I reach out taking her arm. “Alright, I get it. You love Christmas. But it’s just not my thing. Now can we please get you a few things so we can be on our way?”
Katie looks down to where I’m holding her arm. I’m not squeezing her, hell I’m not even touching bare skin, but there’s something there. Something palpable. Her gaze drifts back to mine and I should let go of her, but I don’t. I’ve always been drawn to Katie. I’ve always felt protective of her in a way that was easy to gloss over when she was younger – too young for me – because she was Henry’s little sister and he’s my best friend. Of course, I was going to watch out for his family. But as she’s gotten older, that protective instinct grew to something more. An attraction I shouldn’t feel. I covered it up by being distant and aloof whenever she was around, and I know she sees me as nothing more than a giant wet blanket on her sparkly flame.
I drop her arm, telling myself that I’m imagining the disappointment in her eyes. “Snowsuit,” I practically bark.
She purses her lips. “What am I supposed to do at your cabin for however long I’m there?”
“You could have gone to Singapore.”
Her shoulders sag. “I’m like a puppy that someone has to take care of. Why doesn’t anyone see that I can take care of myself?”
I feel a momentary pang. If Katie hadn’t been born a Black, she’d be able to forge her own path and twenty-one is certainly old enough to make her own decisions. The Black name might come with a lot of opportunity, but it also comes with its own unique restrictions. For several years, the Black kids lived in a gilded cage.
Katie rubs her eyes. “Look. I know you promised my brother you’d swoop in and save me from whatever it is I’m too young to know about this time, but I know you don’t like me, Hiro and I really can take care of myself.” She wraps my jacket tighter over her chest. “Why don’t you just take me to a hotel where I can have room service and watch Christmas movies until Henry can come and collect me.”
Something shifts in my chest. As much as I felt this was a duty I owed my best friend, the shadow of truth in my heart is that I would walk into a burning building to get to Katie.
I sigh, giving into the inevitable. Unless I lock myself in a closet while we’re at the cabin, I won’t be able to avoid her. Katie doesn’t deserve to be trapped with me while I try to ignore her, pretending I don’t feel things I shouldn’t. “The problem isn’t that I don’t like you, Katie.”
She picks up a little owl, a merry red scarf around its neck, and hugs it to her chest. “Well, that’s news to me. You always act like you hate me. I know you think I’m annoying.”
