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I reach for the door to the conference room, push it open, and take a step inside. Uncle Dean, Dad, Coleman, Shiloh, and her father, Ray Randolph, are sitting in their seats, waiting.
“There he is,” my father announces, which lets me know he’s displeased with me.
He’ll get over it, or he’ll punish me. Either way, I can’t control it at this point. Dipping my chin, I murmur an apology for my tardiness. Ray speaks before anyone else can, and I can see why Coleman doesn’t want to be part of this group.
“Your dad is full of shit. You aren’t late at all,” Ray announces, his voice booming and bouncing off the windows around us.
I know I’m not late. I know my dad still isn’t happy with me being the last person to walk into the room, but I do know I’m not late. I don’t need this loudmouth to tell me shit. But instead of saying that, I dip my chin toward my father with a silent acknowledgment and sign of respect before I sink down into my usual chair.
“Let’s get started with these papers. The food should be here soon, and we can enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to sign these. I don’t like the way this came about,” Shiloh states.
Coleman levels her with a glare and leans forward, his gaze focused on hers and never leaving as he speaks. Although he doesn’t actually talk to her, it’s clear that his intentions are for her to understand what he’s about to say. Even if it isn’t directlytoher… it is definitelyforher.
“Ray,” he begins, “this deal will go forward. One way or another, it will happen. There is nothing else that can be done about it. Your agreement was made, and if this is not done, blood will be shed.”
Ray gulps, his gaze flicking to Shiloh, then back to Coleman. But it’s Shiloh who speaks. “You don’t get to threaten us,” she announces, although her voice wavers a bit.
She is not as badass as she thinks she is, and it’s almost sad. But when I truly take her in, I observe her and see she’s in love with my brother. This is to get him back. This is to make him pay.
This is all to force him to pay attention to her… to see her as a woman of worth.
“It is not a threat, Shiloh. It is a promise.”
I watch as they have a complete stare-down with one another, then Shiloh roughly grabs a pen next to her and scribbles her name on the contract.
“Fuck you, Coleman Hamilton.”
Coleman’s lips curve up into a grin, and I know he’s going to reply to that. “Already did, babe,” he purrs and then winks. Uncle Dean clears his throat and shifts in his seat uncomfortably. I watch him, wondering what the fuck his issue is, but I don’t ask.
“Drinks,” Dad barks before the conversation turns ugly and everything gets canceled all over again.
ChapterEleven
PARKER
I’m not sure why,but after only two sessions with Doctor Hamilton, I feel almost reborn. I know I’m nowhere nearfixed. There is a lot of work for me to do. But I am feeling better than I ever have with virtual sessions. I don’t know if it’s seeing her in person or who she is. I have a feeling it’s more just because she’s so awesome.
As I make my way home, the sun sets, and I am mesmerized by the watercolor-painted sky. I think about the breathing exercises the doctor gave me and the assignment. She wants me to write in a journal every day.
She wants me to write about my past. Before my parents died, the night they were taken. Then, after my parents were gone. Then college, then adulthood, and now. Although college to adulthood to now encompasses only a couple of years, that part shouldn’t be too hard. It’s not like I’ve really done much.
Just thinking about journaling all those things, bringing up those past feelings and the current ones, causes my heart to jump inside my chest. Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, I pinch my eyes closed and try to breathe. I try to slow my racing heart.
Once I feel a bit better, I open my eyes and continue walking home. It takes a little longer than usual because of the whole heartbeat thing. It happens two more times, and I chalk it up to my anxiety rising and rapidly falling this evening.
Walking into my building, I take the elevator to my floor and slip into my condo, locking myself inside for the night. I have plenty of work on my laptop and apparently a lot of journaling to do… and breathing.
I can’t forget the breathing.
Doctor Hamilton also said that she wanted me to do something new this weekend. But she only mentioned that, so I’ve told myself I will only do that if I have time… and spoiler alert, I will not have time.
I set my computer bag down on my coffee table, make my way toward the kitchen, and rummage around for something to eat. I haven’t been to the store. Chewing on my bottom lip, I let out a sigh and reach for a piece of uncured salami and a block of extra sharp white cheddar cheese.
I shouldn’t eat just salami and cheese for dinner, so I scrounge around until I have an orange bell pepper and a cluster of grapes. Now it’s a charcuterie, so it’s not some make-do thrown-together mess. It’s fancy.
Walking over to my chair, I decide that work can wait until tomorrow. I’m going to read and eat snacks tonight. I strip out of my work clothes, sink down in the chair, and place the plate on my knees as I open the reading app and settle into my book.
