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She felt something solidify inside her. She had to call up her inner Hannah. She couldn’t just stand in here crying, bleeding, talking to Joshua—who was what? A liar? Had come here with some dark motive? Associated with the scary woman who just beat the shit out of her?
“She knows things about me,” Joshua said. “I’ve done wrong and she knows it all. If I don’t help her, I could go to jail. You don’t want that, right, Crick?”
Was he really looking for sympathy from her? Understanding?
She backed away from him and moved toward the kitchen, locking eyes with Joshua.
“Cricket,” he said, lifting his palms again in that passive gesture of surrender. “What are you doing?”
She put the island between them, and moved over toward the oven. The row of knives hung on a magnetic board. They both stood stock-still, a standoff, the kitchen island between them.
How fast could she reach for one of those knives?
How fast could he get to her?
A breath. Another one.
Then, she moved quickly, grabbing the biggest one.
It had a heavy wood handle and a gleaming blade.
He came up behind her and she spun, holding the knife in front of her. Could she use it? Plunge that blade into his beautiful flesh?
Yeah. Yeah she could.
“Back up,” she said, summoning her power voice. “Get away from me.”
“Woah, calm down,” he said, taking a couple of steps back, “I’m not going to hurt you. I can get us out of this. We can walk away tonight.”
“Get the fuck away from me,” she said, voice wobbling. “I loved you. IthoughtI loved you.”
“Cricket, please.” His voice was low and soothing, but he kept inching toward her. “I love you, too.”
“Oh my god. Shut up.”
The sad thing was, it was exactly what she wanted to hear, what she’d wanted to say.I love you.Not with a knife in her hand, bleeding profusely from the face. She was so dizzy, confused. She was going to be sick, bile mingling with the blood she’d swallowed.
“She said you tried to leave,” said Cricket, the other woman’s words ringing back at her. “You already tried to run, but had to come back because of the tree.”
“I came back for you. You know that.”
She knew that he was lying. If the tree hadn’t come down, he’d be long gone, wouldn’t he?
“Where did you go when you disappeared?” she asked. Then another dark possibility dawned. Liza hadn’t left Mako. Joshua and the other woman had—done something to her. “Where’s Liza?”
He was crying now. “I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
Mako cried, too, when he was caught, when he was backed into a corner. A certain type of man—the user, the manipulator, the sociopath—dissolved into tears as a last resort. Why did she always wind up with that type of man? If she survived this night, she was going to bring it up in therapy. But for now, she had to get tough.
“I have to—help Mako and Hannah.” Her voice sounded too soft, weak. She had to rest her weight against the counter.
“Look,” said Joshua, still soothing. “Put the knife down and let’s just get out of here. I’ll explain everything to you, everything. I’ll make this right.”
It was because she wanted love too badly. That’s why she made so many of the wrong choices. She just wanted to love and to be loved. She just didn’t know what love looked like, real love like the kind Hannah and Bruce had.
“Let’s go, Cricket. Put the knife down, and let’s get out of here.”
She almost did it. Because, truly, that’s the kind of girl she was. She’d do anything for love, anything for a guy. It was Hannah’s age-old complaint about her, that Cricket threw everything over, even Hannah, for men, including Mako. She’d betrayed herself, Hannah, Liza, others over and over for him, for other even less worthy guys. But no, not this time. She was not going to let Hannah get hurt while she ran off with this guy who clearly hadmajorissues.
