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Hannah
June 2018
Hannah was drinking too much. Two vodka sodas already, and the red wine Mako had served with dinner was going down fast, her glass almost empty. What was it? Liquor to wine, you’ll be fine? She hoped that was true. She hadn’t had this much to drink since Gigi had been born, and not for ages before. And had she seen on theprinted itineraryleft on their king bed that there was someone picking them up early for a hiking excursion? Had it said 7:00 a.m.?
She felt warm, her cheeks flushed. Bruce had knocked back a couple of bourbons and he was relaxed and easy, all the tensions he was carrying seemed to have vanished. She’d let herself surrender to her buzz, forget all the things that were worrying her.
When Mako returned to the table with assurances that Liza just needed some rest and would be fine in the morning, they’d settled into dinner—the ghost story, the creepy review, too, faded, were washed away in a tide of good food, drinks, and laughter.
The meal had actually been heavenly—the meat perfectly grilled, charred at the edges but moist inside. Every side was an explosion of flavor. And a surprise dessert was on its way, Chef clanging about the kitchen while his silent assistant cleared their plates. Hannah thanked her, but she didn’t seem to hear.
Mako was loudly telling a story about buying the Tesla and how he needed the tax credit, and Cricket was hanging on his every word.I made so much money last year, he said as if it was a problem. Cricket literally had her chin in her hand, staring at him like a lovesick schoolgirl. Joshua, with a slight smile, and possessive arm around Cricket seemed less impressed.
Hannah had felt Joshua’s eyes, once, twice, but ignored him. Now it was her turn to look at him for a second. His elegant high cheekbones, short shorn dark curls, his good posture, his slimness. He seemed tense, maybe his mind elsewhere, maybe picking up on the energy between Mako and Cricket.
Cricket might always be a little in love with Mako, Hannah thought. The thought came out of nowhere, surprising her. No, that wasn’t true. Was it?
Joshua pulled his phone from his pocket, glancing at it with a frown.
“Excuse me a moment,” he said, rising.
“Of course,” Hannah said, giving him a smile which he returned before moving away quickly.
Cricket and Mako didn’t even notice, Mako drunkenly going on—and on. Hannah had already heard this story. “And the guy was like: Wait. Dude, you’re paying cash?”
Earlier in the month, Hannah’s mother had intimated that Mako was having some issues with the business, that he’d asked their dad to invest more money. But that Sophia and Leo had declined, saying that they were “tapped out” when it came to giving Mako money. Still Mako talked ceaselessly about the things he had, what he was buying next. So, what was that all about?
Hannah felt Bruce’s hand on her thigh and when she looked over at him, they locked eyes.
“Looks like the fire is dying outside,” he said. “I’ll go see to it.”
“Let Chef get it,” said Mako, not eager to lose another audience member. Was his tone a little sharp?
There was a moment where she looked back and forth between her husband and her brother, wondering at the balance of power. Then Bruce rose and left the table, and after a moment Hannah followed.
“Hannah, where are you going?” asked Mako.
But then he went back to his drunken rambling as she left the table and walked outside. She found Bruce bending before the dying fire. He used the poker to bring the embers up, then threw another log on. The flames leapt back to life.
“That’s very manly,” she told him. “If we were cave people, I’d have to reward you for keeping us alive through the night with your mad fire skills.”
“Are you,” he said, rising and pulling her close, “a little tipsy?” He buried his face in her neck and she started to laugh, ripples of pleasure, of desire moving through her.
“What if I am?” she said.
She’d surreptitiously checked the baby monitor app earlier and saw Gigi sleeping peacefully. She felt light and free. She didn’t want to think about anything else. Wasn’t that her biggest problem? She was always thinking.
“It’s good,” he whispered into her ear. “I am, too.”
His lips found hers, and she ran her fingers through the silk of his hair. She was hot for her husband; she didn’t know many women who were, especially after the babies started to come. For a lot of her friends, a deep-seated anger, a resentment set in about how much life had changed for them, and how little it had changed for their husbands. Hannah didn’t feel like that. She loved him for taking care of them, for giving her the space to be fully present for Gigi.
“I saw a gazebo, down that path back there,” he whispered. “Follow me.”
He took her hand and tugged.
Was it rude? She glanced inside the big windows where Mako wasstillprattling on, and Cricket was adoring, and Joshua hadn’t returned to the table.
“You’re not on duty here,” Bruce said. “You don’t have to attend to them.”
