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“Staying or going?” Chance demanded.
“Depends on what stupid thing is going to come out of your mouth next,” Levi stated, and, to his surprise, Chance broke into a grin.
“Says the asshole who runs to a cabin in the woods.”
“I’d kill someone if I lost it. Ain’t gonna risk that being a brother, old lady, or a kid. I’m rage blind,” Levi retorted and crossed his arms.
“Yeah, you’re rage blind. You still shouldn’t face shit by yourself, but you do.”
“Because, Pres, if I lose control, how many of you will die before you stop me? Alone, I can work out the anger, beat the beast back into submission, regain normal. Around people he wants to harm. If my control is weakened, it wouldn’t take much for him to break through,” Levi said.
Chance nodded as he spoke. Levi knew Chance already knew this; they’d spoken about why he needed to run. Once it became clear how bad Levi’s dark was, Chance got used to Levi disappearing. The woods soothed the monster, as did the activities Levi did to regain control. Chance wouldn’t admit it, but Levi also knew he thought he was a far better artist when the beast was in control.
“Shit’s happened. Clio broke,” Chance rumbled.
Levi looked up, startled.
“Say what?” Levi asked.
“Clio had a breakdown. Got her into therapy, but she’s a mess. Clio’s bottled shit up, and when you left, she freaked.”
Levi wondered if Chance was blaming him for Clio’s health. If so, then Chance could fuck the hell off. Levi was not responsible for Chance’s woman as much as he cared for her. He waited for Chance to speak.
“Was wrong about your Madisen, handled that badly. Was thinking of the shit we’re facing and not of a brother’s heart. Put me in a place I didn’t like, brother, and made me realise how grimly we are all holding the fuck on. Decreed Sundays are family days; no fucker works anymore. We got employees; we use them. Sundays are to be around family at the compound. Everybody agreed mornings are for groups: men, women, kids. Afternoons for men to watch over children, and evenings for all of us. No outsiders.”
“That voted on?” Levi asked. As usual, whether he was present or not, shit still continued.
“Diesel proxied your vote,” Chance said, looking uncomfortable.
“Then why so worried?”
“Because you are pulling back, brother. Felt it when we didn’t land the right way to handle Madisen. Feel it now.”
“Chance, you’re being overly sensitive. Drop your balls before Clio divorces you for growing a pussy,” Levi retorted, unwilling to speak to his brother.
“Fuck you, ain’t gonna distract me with that, bro. Talk to me,” Chance demanded.
Levi rocked back on his bike.
“Don’t wanna.”
“Well, you gotta. The therapist says we all need to talk more instead of brushing over shit. I got Big Al sitting down with your brothers and talking stuff through, but a couple, Pyro, you, I am dealing with directly.”
“Because we’re whack jobs,” Levi stated, readying for a fight.
“Because I’m the only twat who knows the ins and outs of your problems. Others might know bits and pieces or guessed, but the full truth? That’s me and me alone. Wanna talk to Big Al? Fine, say so,” Chance challenged.
Fuck. Levi didn’t want to talk to anybody. His shit was his, that was that. Levi didn’t need to discuss anything with anyone.
“This talking crap is compulsory?” Levi demanded.
Chance let loose a grin, and Levi groaned.
“Fine. But don’t expect tears and fuckin’ girlie bullshit,” Levi warned.
“I expect ya to speak and talk your stuff through,” Chance grumbled.
“Dunno. My way has always worked until now,” Levi complained.
