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‘It was my old neighbour who persuaded me to stick at it. She told me I had to finish so I could turn our lives around and be in a better place to provide for Gus and Spencer.’ He shifted his feet. ‘Of course, I felt guilty at the time, and have ever since, but I knew deep down that she was right. She looked after them whilst I trained. She still looks after them now. She has them after school and whenever I need a few hours.’
‘That’s nice of her.’ Poppy straightened Fluffles’ harness. ‘That must have been a really tough time.’
‘It was. I was a state, broken. Looking back, I was probably still in shock at being left with Spencer and Gus. She was – is – an absolute lifesaver.’
‘I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through.’ Poppy looked across at him. If they hadn’t had that kiss and if he hadn’t made it crystal clear he didn’t want anything from her, she would have walked straight across the room and given him a hug. Instead, she gripped hold of Fluffles’ lead.
‘I didn’t tell you, so you’d pity me. I told you because I thought you should know the reason behind my decision.’
Poppy nodded slowly, but then said, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t understand.’
She laid her hands on the table, palms down.
What did that have to do with the kiss? Was he saying that he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he had to put the boys first? He had to focus on his job? But he’d had that relationship in the past – the one Ginny had told her about. She shook her head. Maybe what had happened, how they’d broken up, had just confirmed what he wanted, that he wanted to focus on his brothers and his job. ‘So you’re not ready for a relationship then?’
‘What?’ Mack frowned, the lines between his eyebrows knitting together.
‘Just that. You’re not in the right place for a relationship. You want to focus on your brothers, on your business.’ Poppy looked down at her nails and begun picking off the already scuffed nail varnish. He was in a better place than he had been back then. That was obvious but he still didn’t want her. ‘I understand that you need to look out for them, to put them first.’
‘I…’
‘Don’t.’ She blinked, willing with every bone in her body for the tears not to fall. That she wouldn’t show him how much he had hurt her. She’d have rather just assumed his ex’s actions had been the reason he didn’t view her in that way, not that he thought she wasn’t good enough. That he was too focused earning money. ‘Can we get this over and done with, please?’
‘Poppy, I don’t understand.’ Stepping forward, he held his hand out towards her before letting it drop to his side.
She shook her head and focused on Fluffles, who was now pawing at the table, trying to make herself comfortable on the cold, hard surface.
‘Have we got crossed wires? I was trying to explain why I don’t offer discounts or give my treatment away for free. I don’t want to ever put my brothers back in that situation.’ He gestured to the door. ‘The woman you were sitting next to mentioned discounts…’
Closing her eyes, she took a breath before opening them again.
‘I thought you were talking about why you were pushing me away, why you declared that kiss between us was a mistake.’
‘What has that got to do with money?’
‘That I’m not good enough for you because you’ve made something of yourself while I’m starting right back at the beginning again.’
‘What? No. Jeez, who do you take me for? I couldn’t care less whether you had a million pounds in your back pocket or ten pence.’ Looking down, he shook his head. ‘I don’t mean that literally. Of course I’d care, but for you, not for me. How much you have or don’t have or what position you are in with your life has no bearing at all on why I can’t get into a relationship.’
‘Oh, right.’ She looked away.
‘Poppy, I thought we were talking about the discounts. If I’d known you were talking about the kiss…’
‘Well, not the kiss exactly. But… your past. I know about your ex getting close to your brothers and then leaving.’ She shrugged.
‘Oh. How did you…?’ He rubbed the back of his neck.
‘I’m not her though.’ Poppy clenched her jaw shut. Why had she said that? She hadn’t meant to.
‘I know, I know you’re not.’
Pushing all thoughts away, she stepped closer to the table. She didn’t want to think about any of it, not here. Not with him standing a mere few feet away from her. She couldn’t do it.
‘Let’s get Fluffles her vaccination.’
Mack cleared his throat. ‘Yes, of course.’ Turning around, he looked down at the counter before mumbling, ‘I’ll just go and get it,’ and left the room.
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