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He nodded, finishing the last gulp of his gin and tonic and setting the glass on the bar. I placed my still-full glass beside his, taking his hand and pulling him through the crowd.
We rode the elevator quietly to our hotel room.. His thumb drew circles on mine, giving my hand a squeeze as the doors opened and we walked down the hallway.
I rifled through my pockets, searching for the room key as we stopped at the door. Ben’s hand wrapped around my waist. His suit jacket brushed my back. I closed my eyes as my fingers wrapped around the key, inhaling the smell of fresh air and pine before opening the door.
“That was a bust,” Ben said with a grin, pulling off his jacket, folding it in half and setting it on top of his duffel bag.
“At least you made a new friend.” I unloaded the contents of my pockets onto the nightstand and took off my earrings, placing them beside my wallet.
“I found the only other person in that place not interested in hooking up.”
I frowned, turning to face him just in time to watch him pull his shirt off. “So, you’re not interested in hooking up? That’s a real shame.” I turned my back to him, brushing my hand over my neck to pull away the loose hair that fell out of my updo. “Do you mind unzipping me?”
His calloused fingertips brushed down my shoulders, fingers resting just above the zipper. His breath blew hot on my neck. I closed my eyes as his lips brushed over the back of my neck. “I’m not interested in hooking up with some stranger, Thea.”
“You just want to hook up with me?” I teased as he pulled down the zipper.
“If we’re just hooking up for now, then I can live with that,” he murmured, nipping at my ear. “Or, you could make this easy on both of us and admit to what’s really going on.”
“And what’s really going on, Benny?”
“We’re meant for each other.”
I closed my eyes, letting the perfection of that sentence warm my body like a roaring fire on a snowy day. I could feel myself sinking into the feeling. Burrowing into that feeling. For a moment, anyway, before the excuses and the fears cropped back up. Fainter now, though. Just a nagging at the back of my mind, reminding me of everything I had to lose if we tried dating and broke up: a family, the only place that felt like home, a best friend.
“But you don’t need to say it,” he whispered. “You don’t need to admit it. I can wait. We have plenty of time.”
I sighed as he kissed my shoulder before padding into the bathroom. I slipped off the dress, wondering how one of my favorite things about Ben, his endless patience, could be so frustrating sometimes.
If he would just get mad or give up, I wouldn’t have to decide. I wouldn’t have to be the reason our relationship changed or imploded or grew. But then again, he had given me exactly what I needed: time. Time to ease my way of thinking about Ben as only a friend and into more. If he thought it’d be a year and a half like Chase, he didn’t mind. Or at least, outwardly didn’t mind.
So I ignored the anxiety in my chest, calmer now that Ben had given me permission to wait. Permission to take my time. Which, considering my entire birthday wish had been to find a husband and kids, shouldn’t have been a relief. But a mystery husband, someone I loved but who I conjured from thin air, didn't have the same weight as Ben.
I could give my heart to a mystery guy because what was the worst that could happen? The marriage didn't work out. We'd break up. We'd divorce. I couldn't remove Ben from my life nearly as easily. In a lot of ways, he was my life. An extension of it, anyway.
But he'd given me time, in his perfectly Ben-like way, depositing it into my lap with an offhand way that didn't make me feel dismissed or put upon. I didn't have to do anything with the information. I didn't even need to acknowledge it. He would wait.
I slipped into bed naked, feeling all at once closer to Ben than I'd ever felt and more exposed than ever before. He walked out of the bathroom, a pair of gym shorts slung low on his hips, and crawled into bed beside me.
"Thea, are you naked?" He lifted an eyebrow, snaking an arm around my shoulders as I nuzzled closer.
"Tell me again that you'll wait for me." I slung a leg over his hips, shifting my weight to his chest.
He grinned, grabbing my hips as I pushed up to straddle him. He ran his thumb over my thigh.
"That's really what you want to hear right now?"
I leaned forward, brushing my lips over his. He tasted like mint and I temporarily forgot the question when he palmed the back of my head and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss.
"You don't mind?" I asked breathlessly when he let me go.
He ran the pad of his thumb down my cheek. "If you agree to stop it with the singles events, I'll be patient."
"But can we keep doing this?"
He laughed. "Yeah. I'd be upset if you didn't want to. I do need some commitment from you, though."
I faked a pout. "Didn't I just agree to stop with the singles’ events?"
