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“Nothing.” I don’t mind admitting a plain truth. “But what you’ve done or not done doesn’t matter that much to me.” That’s the truth, too, and I normally wouldn’t say that shit out loud. I normally wouldn’tthinkthat way. The crimes I commit are always against people with power who use it to fuck up the lives of people with less.
This one’s different.I’mdifferent. Maybe I’ve finally lost it. Maybe I’vesnapped,and what I need most of all is a big hug and a nap on the couch.
Haha, fuck that. I’ve been a crime scene long enough to know that this was the only answer. From the moment I saw her walking to her car, it was theonlyanswer to the bitter, burned-out parts of me that won’t rest until somebody’s paid for what happened to me.
What happened toallof my siblings. Not just me.
“Oh, God,” she whispers, the chill of the realization bringing down the heat of the legal argument.
The SUV bumps over the edge of a pothole in the road.
A second later, a seat beltclicks.
“Good call.” I glance at her in the rearview mirror. Lily sits up tall, like she’s trying to take up space without making it seem like a challenge. She’s staring toward the front of the car, face set.
“I don’t want to die in a car accident while I’m being kidnapped.”
“Is that really the worst option? A car accident?”
Silence. I was talking about the fire. I’m always talking about the fire. My siblings and I keep coming back to it. We’ll always come back to it.
Lily thinks I mean something else.
“I didn’t mean that I was going to murder you.”
“Oh, great.” Her voice is smooth and light, even though she’s angry, and I have the powerful urge to hold her face in my hands and let her talk to me. About anything she wants to talk about, for as long as she wants. It’s not an emotion a kidnapper can have, so I ignore it. “That makes me feel so much better.”
“Glad to hear it.”
My phone lights up in the closest cupholder.
Gabriel:Where are you?
He didn’t send the message to the group text. Gabriel texted me one-on-one. I have the same sinking sensation as I did in the kitchen, trying to find that ridiculous mug. They’re all going to be okay without me. Last year, I promised Mason I’d text them back. It was right after Gabriel’s fall, and he’d lost sleep over me being out of contact.
Jameson: Out
Gabriel: What are you doing?
“Oh, my God. Are you seriously texting and driving in the middle of a kidnapping?” Lily’s indignant, but her voice shakes.
“There’s nobody on the road.” I know. Texting and driving is horrible. I only do it when I’m far as hell from any other traffic. If I go out in a blaze of gasoline and crushed metal, that’s not the worst option.
I know what the worst option is, and if you guessedburning alive in a fire,you’re wrong.
It’s having to go on living after your parents burn alive in a fire.
“It’sillegal,” Lily snaps.
My teeth snap together to keep raucous laughter from flying out of my mouth. Lots of things are illegal, and lots more thingsshouldbe illegal but get a free pass because they come across the right judge’s desk.
“I’ll keep that in mind, but you have to know by now that illegality is a fairly low priority for me.”
She presses her lips shut like there’s something she desperately wants to tell me, but won’t.
It’s cute.
I didn’t expect her to be this cute, or this familiar, and I can’t figure out where I’ve seen her before.
