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I have to lean in close enough to kiss her in order to hear. Fuck, I want to. Fuck, Icould.But she wouldn’t want that. She hates me, and she’s right to hate me. And I feel nothing for her. She’s nothing to me. I don’tcare, I—
Her hair is in her face.
I can’t stop myself from brushing it away with my fingers. Once I’ve tucked it behind her ear, I can’t let go.
“You can leave.” In another flash of lightning, I see her chin dimple. “I’ll wait here.”
“Forwhat?”
“For someone to drive by.”
I have to wait out more loud-ass thunder. Still can’t take my hand away. If I’m touching her, she can’t die, and she can’t disappear, and she can’t turn out to be a hallucination.
“Nobody is going to drive by. It’s dangerous as fuck.”
“Someone will.”
“What, like some—” I’m going to lose my shit at the thunder, and the lightning is making me want to scream. One of those bolts is going to come for us. I want to be in the cabin. “Like some axe murderer?”
She presses her lips together, and damn it, I know that defiance. Lily has streaks of mud on her face. Shiny fabric covers her torso. Another retina-searing flash imprints the pattern on my eyeballs. Feathers.
Lily was trying to fly.
I know she has no reason to want to go with me. I know she’d rather take her chances with whoever drives by next.
“Lily.”
Her lip wobbles. I lean closer to block more of the rain. It’s pointless. The tree is doing everything it can, but it can’t shelter us from rain that’s coming down so fast it hits the ground and explodes in every direction.
“Leave me alone.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You did it before.”
The storm howls, cutting us off. She’s shivering on the wet, muddy ground. Shefell.
“Ican’t. I can’t. I wish I could forget everything. I can’t.”
“Justgo.”
“Lily, please. You’re cold. You’re hurt. Let me take you inside. Let me be good to you for one fucking second.”
She bursts into big, ugly sobs, her head tipping forward, her forehead resting on mine. “Don’t,” she snaps over the tearing sound of more lightning.
“Don’twhat?”
“Don’t act like you want to be nice.”
“I dowant to be nice. That’s all I’ve—” The thunder insists on keeping it short. Rain soaks my clothes. All she’s got is that leotard. We need to get inside before some asshole loses control of the vehicle and hits us. We have to go in before this tree gets struck by lightning and we die from the fire. We have to go in before anything else happens to her. “If you don’t want to go with me, you don’t have to.”
She punches me in the chest, a light, ineffective hit that’s all knuckle. “Iwantto go with you. Ihateit. I tried to get out, and now—” Lily sobs, her forehead pushing against mine. “And now I want to go back. My ankle hurts. I’m afraid to stand on it.”
“Can I pick you up?”
“Don’t,” she says again, and follows it with a growl of pure frustration. “Don’t start asking permission because I fell on my ass in the mud.”
“That’s not why I’m asking.”
