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“No, it’sgreat.I’ve been afraid of making any spontaneous decisions because I might end up like my mom, but you also showed me that I don’t have all the information abouther, either. I’ve written her off because that’s what my grandfather seemed to do. I wrote off a huge part of my personality for the same reason. I could stand to do some more of the things that make me happy. Like my aerial hoop performances. Or running off with a hot kidnapper.”
I thought his face would light up, but it doesn’t. Jameson’s blank.
I put my hand over his. “What I’m trying to say is, I need to embrace the free-spirit side of me. Explore what that means. I could help societyandbe a free spirit. I could strike a balance. And I owe you for showing me that.”
He laughs without smiling, without a soul. “Okay.”
“No, seriously. I thought I was worthless unless I became a lawyer and a judge.”
A hint of sadness returns to Jameson’s eyes. “You’re not worthless.”
“So.” I steel myself. There’s that rush of anticipation. Adrenaline. This is like my first performance at The Membership. Like every performance, when I’m about to be who I truly am. The mix of being courageous and shy and excited and scared makes me feel a little drunk. “I know it would be a spontaneous, free-spirit thing to do, but—” Jameson doesn’t laugh at my joke. Okay. Moving on. “—could we stay at your cabin for another week or something? Maybe do some non-kidnap stuff? Get to know each other? I’m interested in you. I still think you’re incredibly hot.” My throat closes. “And I care about you. I want to make the world better for you. I was hoping we could figure that out together.”
A long look out at the lake, then back at me. “You can stay,” Jameson offers.
“Like…” That’s not the answer I wanted. “By myself?”
“Yeah. You can have the cabin.” He rises from the beach chair, obviously stiff, and stretches his arms over his head. Jameson bumps against me, the movement affectionate, and starts walking across the grass.
I stop halfway across the yard. He keeps going. Not toward the back door, but to the side of the cabin. “Where are you going? What do you mean,have the cabin?”
Jameson keeps walking. I hurry to catch up. We go around to where he parked his SUV. He stands in the middle of the driveway and bows his head.
“Jameson. Answer me.”
He lifts his head. “I mean, the cabin’s yours. Keep it, sell it, do what you want with it. Keep Snowball, too.” A flash of pain over this face like one of those bolts of lightning. “Make sure he’s okay. I don’t think he’ll do well on his own.”
“What’s happening? What happened while I was asleep? Are you—” The pit in my stomach expands until it could swallow me whole. “The things you’re saying seem really scary and dark.”
“No, it’s not that bad. If I wanted to kill myself, I’d have done it by now. I’ve had about five thousand chances. That’s probably on the low side.”
“That’s good. That’sgood, Jameson.”
“Take the SUV, too.” He pulls his keys out of his pocket and tosses them to me. They glint in the air before I catch them. Ialwaysdrop stuff like this. I wish I could enjoy the victory.
I clutch the keys in my fist. “This isn’t making any sense. Why wouldn’tyoutake your car?”
“I have a ride.”
“…what?”
Wheels rumble on the road through the tunnel of trees. It’s the first traffic noise I’ve heard since we arrived, and it only gets louder. The first police car bursts through the tunnel and hangs a sharp right to miss Jameson. There’s another police car behind that, and another, and—
Six police cars roll down the driveway.
Jameson raises his eyebrows. “They usually don’t send that many for me. Kidnapping is the real deal.”
“Holy crap, Jameson. This is—stop. This isn’t funny.”
“It kind of is.”
“I don’t want you to get arrested.”
“It’s out of your hands, angel. Oh—” He takes his phone out of his other pocket and tosses it to me, too. Another perfect catch. “They won’t let me keep that.”
“Come over here. Jameson. If you won’t stop this, at least come over here and talk to me.”
“I’m sorry.” Jameson doesn’t take his eyes off me. “For kidnapping you. I shouldn’t have done it, and I’m sorry if I hurt you. You’re free now, okay? Take Snowball with you. Don’t give him to one of those shitty shelters. He’d hate that.”
