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“Everyone will continue being nice to you because that’s who they are. They aren’t being fake just because you’re new around here.”
I want to promise her the world, but I know it’s not my place. Despite Sutton and the boys, I don’t exactly have the best track record for anything long term.
“You should hate me for what I did,” she says, pain marking her voice.
“Part of me does,” I say honestly, understanding why she stiffens in my embrace. “I can’t say it’s fine because it’s not. I lost two years with her.”
I’m not trying to hurt her, but I can’t lie either.
I hold her a little tighter when she starts to cry. Just like she did that first night, she does her best to do so silently. She’s been suffering much longer than since her sister and Carlen were killed. My heart breaks for her.
I might understand that she felt it was the best thing to do, but it was also a very selfish move on her part. I deserved to know my daughter from birth as much as Sutton deserved to know her dad.
“I’m sorry,” she manages.
“And I forgive you,” I tell her with utter honesty.
What I won’t do is punish her forever for the choice she made. She thought it was what was best, and I don’t think she did it with any malice. Anyone being hurt by it was the byproduct not her intent, and I think that makes all the difference.
I press my lips to the back of her neck, praying she finds a little peace tonight so she can rest. We’re safer now than we’ve been since we left St. Louis. We’re all together, and the kids are happy and healthy. We could be doing far worse, honestly.
Chapter 24
Mila
It’s been a long time since my world felt utterly perfect, but I slept well last night for the first time in as long as I can remember.
The warmth of Vincent’s chest urges me to roll over and snuggle into him. His arms leave my body only long enough for me to get situated, and then his palm is warm on my lower back where my shirt has ridden up.
Hesitantly, but unable to resist, I lift my leg and hitch it up on his hip. The rumble of his groan is trapped between my neck and his lips.
The roll of his hips is almost everything I need. When his hand travels over my butt and down my thigh, his grip locking me in place so he can press against me, his erection teasing where I ache, I know I’ve found perfection.
I bite my lips to stifle a moan, but he feels so damn good.
“Ple—”
“Momma!”
His chuckle when I freeze at the sound of our daughter calling from the other side of the room tickles my neck.
“That’s a first,” he whispers, reluctant to pull his lips from my skin.
His comment could mean a variety of things, but I refuse to consider any of them. What I do know is that it’s proof that what this is isn’t something he’s used to, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe new experiences are exactly what he needs, but maybe so much new will wear him out and force him to realize the way his life looks right now isn’t something he’s going to want long term. That outcome makes me leery about the kids getting attached to him at the risk of losing him later.
I know I should give him the benefit of the doubt, but at the same time, turning a blind eye to all the possibilities seems immature.
He doesn’t try to hold me against him when I pull back. As ready as I was to just pull my pajama bottoms down for this man a minute ago, I still feel a little disappointed in the way his eyes lock on my nipples pressing against my sleep shirt instead of looking me in the eye.
Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe I want some type of fairytale that doesn’t exist. Him staring at my breasts doesn’t make him a bad guy. Maybe I should find it flattering. I imagine a lot of women would.
I frown as I sit on the edge of the bed and look at Sutton for a quick second before scrubbing my hands over my face.
He makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. Only minutes ago, I was completely lost in him. There’s a very real chance he’d be inside of me right now if Sutton hadn’t woken up. With her and the boys in this same room, that’s a problem. He makes me forget the important things, and losing focus right now isn’t something I should do.
“We should shower,” he whispers as he positions himself closer, his lips once again on my neck.
I have no hope of controlling the wave of cold chills that cover my body.
