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When my cock kicks inside of her, my cum filling her, I only have one regret, and that’s not calling her the next day three years ago. As my body shakes from my own orgasm, I try not to think about the regret I’m feeling for missing the last three years of her life. I think I might’ve wanted that as much as I wanted the last two years with Sutton.
Chapter 30
Mila
“You don’t have to cut it with a fork,” Vincent tells Luca as the child struggles with using a butter knife to cut a sausage link. “Look.”
Vincent picks up a link from his own plate and shoves the thing in his mouth.
“Maybe don’t try and eat the entire thing in one go,” I suggest to Luca.
“My hands will get dirty,” Luca says, dropping the knife to his plate but not instantly picking up the sausage.
“Don’t worry,” Vincent says. “It’s our week to shower.”
Luca’s eyes snap from him back to me.
“He’s joking,” I tell him.
“It’s not our week?” Vincent teases, and Luca looks even more confused.
“All children struggle to understand sarcasm and teasing,” Misty says, and I know she does this because she’s reading my face.
I’ve been concerned about deficits with Luca, especially after realizing that his bedroom shared a wall with the drug lab Janet and Carlen had in their above-garage apartment. We had him evaluated last week at the hospital and they didn’t find anything clinically wrong, but we were told to watch him closely and to call with any concerns.
“We get to use water every day,” I tell Luca. “Vincent was just joking.”
The boy looks over at Vincent as if he has to make sure. Vincent smiles, and that seems to be enough to ease the boy’s mind. He tentatively picks up the sausage and takes a bite off the end, accepting a napkin when I pass one across the table to him.
I sit in silence, watching him and the boys interact.
We’ve been here a little over a week, and the man hasn’t once faltered with the kids. He’s never huffed in irritation when they ask the same question a million times in a row. He didn’t get annoyed when we all lost sleep over the new teeth Sutton is cutting. He’s strong and resilient, smiling during the times I want to cry.
He has held me every night. He has felt one hundred percent present since the day we came back from Albuquerque. I haven’t caught him slipping. I know it’s toxic to have one foot in and one foot out of a situation, but for the life of me I just can’t seem to jump in with both feet.
I’ve made so many wrong decisions. There have been so many missteps in my life that I can’t help but wonder if this is one of them. I’ve felt sure about other situations in my life. I was positive that keeping Sutton a secret from Vincent was the right thing to do, and now I know I was so wrong in that choice.
I don’t want this to end up like that. I tried to keep my heart out of it, but I think I knew before we even made it to the clubhouse that it was impossible to do.
I feel cocooned and safe, protected, not just by him but by everyone here. Em, Misty, and Khloe provide me with reassurance that being here is the right choice.
“The boys will be helping me in the garage today,” Vincent says, earning a yippee of joy from both kids.
I don’t know what they get up to in that massive garage, but he says he’s been teaching them manly things. What I do know is that they haven’t asked to watch television once since we got here.
“The plumbing is finally done in your salon,” Em says. “So Sutton will come with me while you get to work on getting it all together.”
Before coming here, I’d argue with anyone who told me what they were going to be doing with my child rather than asking, but I don’t feel defensive when it comes to her for some reason.
I give her a quick nod before making sure that all the kids have eaten their breakfast.
“No,” Jace says when I stand and pick my plate up. “You cooked. We do dishes.” He looks over at Vincent who winks at the kids in approval.
“Well, thank you,” I say, handing over my plate to him.
Vincent presses a quick kiss to my cheek. “Tomorrow morning after breakfast, you’re mine for a couple hours.”
His words are more than a promise. We’ve learned, as I’m sure many parents have, that a lot can be done in twenty minutes alone. But I know we’re also both itching for a little longer time together than that.
