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There’s a silence on her end. “Come on, Ani, it’s not a one size fits all sort of lifestyle. You’ve been with Luca long enough, you know what he’s like.”
“He lied to me.” Jewel is silent again. “Are you going to defend him, Jewel?”
How she found out is beyond me. She claimed Luca hadn’t told his cousin, her husband. “I won’t defend him, Ani. But I’m left to understand this and correct me if I’m wrong—he wasn’t candid with you. He fell hard and was afraid you’d walk, and he’d lose you.”
Her words sit with me for a second, and it’s about the gist of it, but Luca being scared? Not sure if that could ever be the truth. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
This time my cousin giggles, bringing a lightness to this conversation. “Because he’s a guy and not a girl. His mind doesn’t work in that finite way. Did he hurt you?” Concern laces her question.
“No, of course not. Everything he did I begged for.”
At my admission, she begins to laugh again so loud that if I had a guest, they’d hear her. “Sounds like you liked it, then.”
“It’s a betrayal, Jewel.” It’s my rebuttal and it’s the best I can do. Really, Anisten? I should be able to defend myself better than this.
“True, and I won’t argue with you, but even my relationship with Maddox had its share of mistakes. I could tell you time and time again, things Maddox had done to hurt me early on. And like Luca, he didn’t date. It scared him. I hate to break it to you—they may be the take charge kind of men, but they’re just as capable of mistakes as we are.”
I don’t reply on that subject. “He wants to take me to the club tonight. And by the way, when you said Maddox ran a nightclub, I never in my wildest dreams expected it was a kink club.”
“I’m not ashamed of my life, Ani. I won’t justify my decisions to others. Anyway, the Dom/sub relationship is the ultimate expression of trust. Maddox takes me to places I’ve never been, just not sexually, but in life.”
“Does your mom and dad know?” I ask because surely they’d not be okay with it.
“Unfortunately, yes. They found out without my permission and shit hit the fan. Maddox still is cautious with my dad, but Dad is trying and has repented.”
Jewel’s dad repenting for anything has me wondering if Maddox is a born lawyer.
“Anyway, Ani, point being is you know nothing about the community if you think it’s just whips and chains. I love my life, and Maddox and I have a twenty-four-seven Dom/sub relationship, but not everyone is like us. Luca wants you in his life, as much as you want him in yours. It’s all about giving, you both give, and you’ll find something beautiful. Don’t make the decision without learning more. Hell, Ani, you don’t have all the facts.”
“Okay, okay,” I finally agree. “By the way, will you tell me who told you?”
This time her giggle is genuine. “Nope, my lips are sealed, but I can guarantee it wasn’t Luca. I have to run, but please call me if you have any questions. I want to see you happy and committed to more than your work.”
She ends the call, and I know Jewel is right. How can I say no to a future with Luca without understanding the more sensual part of his life?
Me:What does one wear to a premiere kink club?
I wait for a response, and when I don’t get one immediately, I decide to take my frustration and nerves out on my treadmill for three miles. The sweat and the burn in my legs after forty minutes send a spike of adrenaline through my body. I didn’t realize I needed this sort of self-care, but with a sense of accomplishment, I reach for my phone with a response from Luca.
Luca:Is that a yes for tonight?
Then there’s another message from the bossy man.
Luca:Heaven, are you purposely making me wait?
Me:Good lord, I was running. I may be at your beck and call with work but I’m not on my off time.
Luca responds right away.
Luca:We’ll see, won’t we? Is that a yes for tonight?
Me:Yes, but I need to know what to wear.
Luca:I’ll send an outfit over for you, Heaven.
Me:Good grief! I can dress myself, thank you very much.
The phone rings, and I’m not surprised it’s Luca.
