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“Do you hear yourself?” he asks, breaking our closeness, pushing to his feet.
“I do. We’ve always been meant to be more, Noah. You’re not my brother. No, you’re someone so much more important to me. You’re my soul mate.”
When I first met Noah James, he quickly became my world. We always said the two of us together was fate, but could it simply be reality slapping us in the face?
* * *
I can’t keepmy eyes open. I barely made it back to the cabin. Noah stayed at the bench by the creek.
I take the steps in the front of the house, leading to the loft. I’ll fall down on the bed, asleep within minutes. But, I have to check my texts from Mom about the kids. Can I call Caitlyn Mom anymore?”
But I stop at the picture on an easel in the loft. Noah has several thick drop cloths placed on the floor. But it’s the picture in front of me that makes me want to cry. I can feel his pain in every stroke, every color, every shade, all of it. It’s pain. This picture encompasses his agony, sorrow, anguish and heartache. He’s tortured, and this picture embodies it all with passion.
I look at my phone and there’s a text from Mom, telling me everything is fine on the home front and to take as much time as I need. She doesn’t ask me if I know, or how I’m doing. I don’t think I could put it into words if she had.
I fall asleep, staring at the painting that I realize also includes my own pain.
* * *
I wake.It’s a nightmare. It’s all it is. I’m not married to my twin brother. And then reality slaps me in the face, and it fucking hurts. The picture I fell asleep to is gone. Does that mean he’s gone? My feet take over, and I’m down the stairs, running toward the back part of the house.
He’s in the living room. Pushed up against the wall, his knees up to his chest, his arms surrounding his legs. His head rests on his knees.
“Noah?”
He tips his head to mine. He doesn’t speak but doesn’t look away from me.
“Noah, what is it. Fuck, is Liam okay? Tia?”
He shakes his head. “No, they’re good. As a matter of fact, Liam’s been moved from ICU, into his own room. He has a long recovery, a broken arm, and a broken leg. He’ll need knee surgery, but he’ll be okay. And Tia is being released tomorrow.”
“Then besides the obvious, what is it?”
He wipes tears that threaten to spill from his eyes. “Liam, he’s asking for me. What do I say? And my dad? I have no idea if he knows. Liam is his son buthe’s also not. And your mom? How is she dealing with this? Liam is her son, and she never knew. And then there’s Tia.”
His concern is for everyone around him but not for me, or for him. I find it interesting, he doesn’t mention his mother.Ourmother.
“This affects us all, babe. And your dad, my mom, Liam, and Tia are concerns. They really are. But they’ll be looking at us, and what we do in this situation.”
His head is resting back on his knees. “I can’t give you up, Ash, but how can we be together, knowing what we know? It’s like toothpaste. We can’t push it back into the tube, as if we never found out that we’re twin brothers.”
How is this our fucking life?I think to myself. “True. But your mom knew and never said anything. She tried to break us up, but then resigned herself to the fact that we’re better together than apart.”
“But the law? It’s illegal, Ash. We could go to jail.”
I don’t know the legal ramifications. I mean it’s illegal, yes. And I know we would go to jail if it was done with intent, but we didn’t know. I have no idea who knows, or if the hospital was made aware, and if they’re going to launch a case.
“Who knows? Does the hospital know?”
“Jim hacked the files, where they could never find out that you and Liam were switched. The nurse who did my blood sample was told my mom cheated on my dad. Caitlyn took the DNA to a private lab across the street, not connected to the hospital, and put phony names on the DNA sample. The guy has a crush on your mom, apparently.”
I’m in the middle of the room, and I cross to the wall he’s sitting against and fall down next to him. I have to be near him.
I can’t believe we’re having this discussion. “I can’t say it’s foolproof, but it seems pretty fucking foolproof, to me. We keep this contained between the two of us, Tia, Liam, my mom, your mom, and your dad. And of course, your Uncle Jim. Does his wife know?”
“According to Mom, no. And he has more to lose than we do,” Noah explains.
“Then why can’t we live our lives? Fuck, we can move to a state where it’s not illegal,” I offer, like I know off the top of my head what states those are.
