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Now I know why she hated Ash. It had been all a smoke screen. She could never hate her flesh and blood.
“I get it. I’ll be there soon. I love you, Liam.”
“I love you too, big brother.”
He ends the call, and I begin putting my paints away. I don’t know if I can handle saying good bye to Ashton. I mean, if we were to decide we’re through, it’s not like I can walk away today and never see him again.
But, I’m not sure I can say good-bye for right now. I need time. I don’t know what time will do. At the end of the day, I’ll still love him, and he’ll still be my brother.
I brought nothing with me. I’ve changed into clean clothes that I keep up here, and Ashton is still gone. Penning down a quick note, I leave before I can second guess myself.
* * *
Caitlyn standsoutside Liam’s room, her back to the wall next to the door, and her head turned down. She just found out the son she raised isn’t hers, and the son she gave birth to almost died last night.
I stop in front of her, and she turns her head to see me. “Oh, Noah.”
“Who has the kids?” I ask.
“Your dad is with them.” She wraps her arms around me. “How’s Ash? How is he?”
How do I answer her? So, I don’t.
“No one has to know. Nothing has to change. We can decide amongst us, as a family, how to move forward.” Caitlyn sounds like her son. Or is he her son? Again, this is so fucking confusing.
“How are you doing? Have you seen him?” I ask, staring at Caitlyn as though I’ll see the resemblance in Liam and her.
She shakes her head. “I can’t bring myself to go in there. And I saw it, the second I met him, it was like I was looking at Aaron. How could I not feel my child was in front of me?”
“We all carry so much guilt. I mean, what are the odds? One in a trillion? So, he doesn’t know?” I ask.
“Your father didn’t think that it was a good idea. He wants him to get better before his world gets yanked from him. We’ll tell them at the same time.” She wipes a tear from her eyes. “Your father found a diamond ring in his suit pocket. We think he was going to propose.”
I slide my fingers through my hair, turning away for a brief second. “This is a clusterfuck.”
She grabs me by the shoulders, getting my attention.
“I won’t argue with you, but I think it’s more than a colossal shitstorm. I think it’s fate. You said it yourself, the odds of you dating him is so fucking low, and yet not only did you and Ash find your way back to each other, so did Tia and Liam. That’s called destiny.”
She really sounds like Ashton now.
“Don’t give up on Ash. I may not have given birth to him, but he’s my son, as much as Liam is.So please, don’t you give up on him.You can have the life you deserve. And you deserve the world.”
“He’s my world, but it doesn’t mean we should stay together,” I try to argue. And part of me knows this is wrong, but the other part can never say good-bye to him.
“He’s your world. Leave it at that.”
She walks away, and I’m alone in the hallway. I’ve delayed the inevitable for as long as I can. No turning back now.
44
Ashton
Carl’s truckis gone when I return from the creek. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’m hurt. I’m so fucking hurt and the only thing that will make it better is Noah pulling me into his large embrace, and telling me we’ll be okay.
Walking into the kitchen, a note sits on the counter.
Ash:
