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He can’t call me out on this behavior when he’s the one creating it in me. I stand a little too fast, holding onto the side of the boat to right myself and I walk the few feet that separates us.
I straddle his waist, my face close to his. “You will not make me feel like the bad guy here. You fucking hear me?” His cock grows under me. “Especially when your cock wants me. I feel it, and you feel it.”
He attempts to stand up, but I push his elbows down. “No. you don’t get to walk away from me. We’re in a fucked-up situation. But us being brothers doesn’t change the two years you claimed my ass, sucked my cock, and dicked me up. That happened. You know why? Not because we’re sex starved, it’s because we’re devoted to each other.”
“Ash, honey.”
“No, you don’t get to Ash me or honey me. You love me. And I don’t see it going away. Because I won’t ever stop loving you. You can leave, but then again, you know I’ll follow. You and me. We’re Ash and Noah, and we’re fucking good together.”
He lifts me from his lap and places me down, disappearing through the boat.
“You don’t get off that easy, asshole,” I yell. He’s in the cabin, his hands splayed on the countertop of the small galley. I pull at his arm.
“Ash, I’m warning you.” His words come out as a loud hiss.
“What are you warning me about? Are you going to hit me? Are you going to release that beast who wants me? Or maybe you can fuck me against a tree, just to leave me there in humiliation, after the hottest sex we’ve ever shared? Wanna break that leg I offered up earlier? Really, asshole, what are you going to do to me?”
He turns his body to mine, his hand around my throat, like the night we fucked against the tree. It’s just hard enough but won’t inflict pain. “Do you really want to do this?” he asks, his eyes, just like mine, wild and heated.
“And what is it you’re talking about?” I’m goading him. I know what this is. It’s hate sex. It’ll be brutal and hard.
“You know what this is. Give me permission, Ash. Give it to me.”
“Fuck me, Noah.”
I drop my pants, and he follows suit.
It won’t be kind, it won’t be gentle. He turns me around and pushes my torso on the top of the table. “Stay right there, don’t fucking move.”
I think he’s retrieving lube but comes back with Evelyn’s coconut oil. His fingers dip into it, then they dive inside of me, prepping me.
He leans over my face. “You missed my cock, Ash?”
“I missed all of you, Noah. All of you.”
He digs his teeth into my shoulder. “This is not sweet. This doesn’t change anything, Ash. This is about a need. My dick, your ass.”
I find that his words hurt more than if he were to stop. And I immediately push up, our heads hitting hard.
I keep my palms on the table, though I’m standing up.
“I’m your fucking husband, you can’t talk to me like that.” I won’t look at him.
“Ashton.”
“Fucking leave. Leave me the fuck alone.”
I’m still looking at the wood of the table.
“I said fucking leave.”
He’s fiddling with his jeans. And he does as I ask. He’s gone.
47
Noah
I never soldmy loft in the old factory. It was under a lease. My tenant moved out a month after everything went down with Ash. I’ve moved back in, yet, it’s scarce.
