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“Yeah,” she said, her tone cutting. “Like an idiot.”
He took in the woman across the room. Her rigid posture. The defiant set of her chin. The obvious fuck-you curl of her lips.
And the sadness and hurt in her emerald-green eyes.
He’d done that. He’d put that pain there.
A fucking piece of shit, that’s what he was.
“I don’t deserve for you to hear me out. I know that. I’ve said some atrocious things to you over the last few years and... there’s no excuse.” Distrust stared back at him, but he continued. “I know my word means nothing to you—and it shouldn’t. I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll do everything in my power to show you that I’m sorry. You don’t have to forgive me”—hell, he was shocked she was still in the room with him—“but I am sorry.”
Joe closed his eyes, pulse pounding in his ears. When he opened them, Roxie was sitting utterly still, like she was holding her breath. He gathered himself before continuing.
“I’m sorry for my horrendous words, for my inexcusable actions. Because no matter what I thought was happening, no matter how angry I was... you didn’t deserve any of that. You were my best fucking friend. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m so sorry, Roxanne. I was wrong. Completely.”
He swallowed hard, trying to gauge her reaction. Nothing. Her face was unreadable. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t tell how she was feeling. And that scared the shit out of him.
The silence in the room was absolute. Until she sniffed.
Roxie’s eyes filled, and his heart cracked. After swiping away a tear, she recrossed her arms over her chest.
“You know,” she said, her voice hoarse, “part of me—hell,mostof me—wants to tell you to go fuck yourself. But the other part...” She gave a watery chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but there’s a tiny part of me that... misses you. Misses what we had. How our friendship used to be. I don’t know if it’s possible for us to get back to that, or even close to what we had. But knowing what happened with your mom and all... I can kinda see why you were so angry. Why you were so hurt.”
His heart stuttered, and a tiny seed of hope took root in his chest. He didn’t deserve this woman. Not her friendship. Not her understanding. Nothing. But still, he hoped.
“I miss our friendship, too, Rox,” he said softly. “So damn much. I’ll never forgive myself for being a stupid dumbass who shot from the hip. Who didn’t take the time to ask you what was going on. That’s on me. I sure as hell haven’t earned your empathy.”
“No, Joe, you haven’t.” She sniffed again, catching another angry tear with the tip of her finger. “But for better or worse, you have it.”
Holy shit, she was so much better than him.
After a long moment, she shook her head and leaned back into the couch cushion. “Fighting with you is exhausting. I’m tired of it. But know this, Joe.” She waved a hand between them. “You and me? We’re nowhere near okay. At all. What you did? How you treated me? It was not okay.” Her voice broke on her last sentence, and he wanted to stab himself in the face.
“You’re right. It wasn’t okay. Not at all.” And he’d known it every time vile shit had spewed from his mouth. But had that stopped him? No. Because he was a selfish fucking piece of shit.
She held his gaze for a moment before whispering, “I don’t know how to trust you anymore.”
The knife he’d imagined stabbing himself with twisted. He didn’t deserve her trust. Not after everything he’d done. But damn if he didn’t want it.
“I will do everything I can to earn your trust back, Roxanne. I swear it. No matter how long it takes. I know along the way I’m gonna fuck up—”
“Of course you are.” She smirked, and that little twitch of her lips, that little spark of fire in her eyes, had a bit of his screaming soul easing.
“—but I promise you, Rox, that I will neverevertreat you that way again. I’ll fuck up a lot of things, but I willnotfuck that up. I promise.”
A dizzying array of emotions crossed her face. Distrust, doubt, uncertainty, and the tiniest hint of hope. He latched onto that hope with both hands.
“We’re gonna be okay, Rox. And not just for them.” He nodded toward the kitchen. “For us, too. It won’t be overnight. But what do you say we take this one day at a time?”
The spark of fire he’d seen in Roxie’s eyes now lit into a flame. She arched one brow in that way he loved and hated in equal parts.
“You’re telling me you can go an entire day with me without being a sarcastic asshole?” she asked.
He grinned. “I said I wouldn’t be an asshole. I didn’t say anything about the sarcasm.”
She rolled her eyes, and he held his breath as she rose from the couch and walked toward him. Her expression turned somber as she came to a stop in front of him.
“I think you’re right. We’ll get there. Eventually.” She inclined her head toward the kitchen. “But first, how about we see if you can get through dinner without being a complete dick?”
