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If he hadn’t been staring at her, he would have missed her slight hesitation, the flash of panic in her eyes.
He waved his hand in a circular motion. “And?”
Her gaze dropped to the table, and she meticulously pushed her food from one side of her plate to the other. “And... occasionally, I get a random picture or two of myself from an event. Like I said, it’s no big deal.”
Maybe. Maybe not.
Joe glanced at Quinn, verifying his friend looked similarly concerned.
“Are these pictures sent to you anonymously? Are there ever notes with them?” he asked.
She paused, and he caught the slight tremble of her fingers.Damn. More than anything, he wanted to reach over and hold her hand. But he couldn’t. He hadn’t earned that right. Yet. “Rox?”
She met his gaze, and the worry in her eyes was like a punch in the gut.
“Most of the stuff I get is sent directly from newspapers and magazines, or from friends outside of Hudson. Those are the clippings or printouts of articles. They have notes and addresses and stamps. The few recent ones have just been photos. And they have all been anonymous.” She released a frustrated sigh, like she was blaming herself for brushing it off. “I kept everything. I’ve been meaning to make a scrapbook out of them.”
Joe continued to hold her gaze, and he knew her well enough to tell she wanted to look away. But instead, she puffed herself up, trying to appear tough. His heart squeezed. Watching her put on her brave face slayed him every damn time.
“I guess I never really gave the photos much thought,” she said. “I figured it was just someone being kind.”
Of course she had. Roxie always thought the best of people, always gave them the benefit of the doubt. It made his stomach sink to know that he’d done the opposite to her for so many years. But no more. Never again.
“Roxie,” Quinn said, “do you have the photos and stuff at your house or the café?”
“Café.”
“Okay. I’ll swing by first thing tomorrow and take a look at everything. If you still have any of the envelopes, even better. Joe and I can check postmarks and that kind of thing.” Quinn turned to him. “Do you have the contact info for the fed’s Seattle office?”
“Of course,” Joe said. But then he stilled.Damn. Technically, he did. But he was pretty sure he no longer had the right to use it.
Quinn frowned. “What? They change personnel in Seattle recently or something?”
Or something.
“Yeah. About that.” Cringing, he squeezed the back of his neck. “So, I, uh... resigned the other day.”
Quinn chuckled. “Good one, man. But seriously, is there something going down at the Seattle office?”
“I wouldn’t know.” He locked eyes with his friend. “I resigned from the FBI on Monday.”
“No shit?”
Joe lifted his chin. “No shit.”
Quinn nodded. “All right, then.”
This was why Joe truly appreciated their friendship. Quinn wouldn’t push him to explain himself, to get into the details ofwhy. Though he was pretty sure his friend had an idea. Everything that had gone down during the Woodsworth fiasco eight months ago had been... eye-opening.
Fidelity, bravery, integrity. He’d never questioned the FBI’s motto. Not until both Rox and Alex had gotten hurt. For the first time in his fifteen-year career, he’d struggled with the integrity part. To this day, the image of Roxie lying unconscious in a pool of her own blood haunted him.
Greater good had always been the understanding. But when it had been Alex and Roxie who’d been sacrificed for that fucking greater good...
As the following days and months had dragged on, he’d increasingly questioned the work he’d once loved. Was it worth it? Did he still believe in the FBI enough to give them every damn thing he had? Could he continue fucking over innocent people, innocent families, in the name of the greater good?
Once you started hesitating, you got sloppy. And once you got sloppy, you put yourself and your fellow agents in danger. He’d known this. So, he’d left. For the safety of others—and for his own sanity. Maybe one day he would be able to look at himself in the mirror without seeing all the lives he’d destroyed.
“Whoa, it is not ‘all right, then,’” Roxie said, pulling him from his thoughts. “What the hell do you mean, you quit?”
