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Holly smiled. “I’m not surprised that he’d be the first. He might be the oldest, but he’s so unlike my Adam in that regard. Adam…he’s hard sometimes, and he doesn’t easily share what’s in his heart. Seth is more open and honest. Dillon?” She sighed as she mentioned her youngest. “That boy is completely unpredictable. And Michael is so intense and focused. He tends to be more analytical. ”
Lily nodded. “I still feel like I’m getting to know all of them and their personalities. That’s why I ask myself how I can know I love them. ”
“I’m going to tell you something right now. If you wait to completely know someone, you’ll wait forever. Sometimes you have to lead with your heart. Even after so many years, my husbands still do things that surprise me. I didn’t know them any longer than you’ve known my boys, but I took a chance. I took the leap and I’ve never regretted it. Not once. Life is about taking chances. Sometimes they bite you
on the ass, but sometimes you find pure perfection. ”
“This is going to sound stupid,” Lily said in a low voice.
Holly chuckled. “I think we’ve already established that nothing about how you feel or react to this situation is stupid. Normal, yes. Stupid, no. ”
“I didn’t tell him I loved him. ”
Holly paused, waiting for Lily to continue. When Lily remained silent, Holly rubbed her hand up and down Lily’s arm.
“Did you not say it back because you were unsure?”
“This is where the stupid part comes in,” Lily muttered. “I didn’t tell him for two reasons. Well, maybe three. One, I didn’t want him to think I was just saying it because he said it. Two, I was so surprised. I wasn’t expecting the words and I was overwhelmed. And three…I felt guilty. ”
“Guilty?”
“I didn’t want to tell him first. I mean before telling Dillon and Michael. I didn’t want them to feel like my feelings were stronger for Seth. It all sounds so ridiculous but I love them all or at least I feel about them in a way I’ve never felt about anyone else. And it’s different but the same. I don’t have a favorite. Will they believe that? That I love them differently but the same?” She shook her head. “Did any of that even make sense?”
Holly hugged Lily to her. “You could be me thirty-plus years ago, honey. And you know, it was actually harder for me to square my feelings with myself than it was with each of my husbands individually. There’s a lot of trust that has to go into a relationship like this. You have to trust that they’re all going to make a firm commitment to you and that they’re going to love you with every part of themselves. But in turn, they have to trust that you’re going to love them with everything you have, individually and together. Does that make sense? There’s only so much you can do. The rest is up to them. You love them. They have to accept that love and trust in it. ”
Lily smiled. “It makes perfect sense. Thank you. I’ve been so worried, not over the relationship itself. They make it seem so…normal. But I’ve worried about handling it the right way. What if I make a mistake? It seems so important to get it all right in the beginning. ”
“Oh, you’ll make mistakes,” Holly said cheerfully. “And believe me, so will they. It’s very much a discovery process that you tackle along the way. But the most important thing is that you’re committed to making it work. As long as each of you has resolved within yourself that this is what you want and that you’ll do whatever it takes to make it work, the rest will take care of itself. ”
“You should probably check the oven,” Lily said as she sniffed the air.
“Oh shoot! Trust me to get sidetracked. I tell you this is why I stay out of the kitchen. ”
Holly hurried around to the oven and took out the casserole. She placed it on a large potholder on the counter and leaned over to inspect it.
“I think it’s perfect! You’re my witness, Lily. I not only did not burn down the kitchen, but the casserole is done to perfection. ”
Lily laughed, and in that moment the sun seemed to shine a little brighter through the kitchen window. It was okay. She was happy. She could make this work. Her future had taken an abrupt right turn from its path of just a few weeks ago. And the only obstacles to overcome were those that were self-imposed.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Michael wiped an arm over his sweaty brow and put down the hammer he’d been wielding. A check of his watch told him that it was late. He and his brothers and dads had spent the entire week tearing out and rebuilding.
He had shoved all his appointments to the mornings so he could have the afternoons to work with his family on the new clinic, and as a result he was tired and to the point he needed a break.
They needed another week at least to finish the front, which would become the new reception area. They had one exam room completed and the rest could be built on a more relaxed schedule since Michael could use one temporarily.
He had barely seen Lily for days—a situation he planned to remedy in short order.
“You knocking off?” Ethan asked.
“Yeah, I think we should all call it a day,” Michael said. “I’m ready to go home, see Lily and maybe have dinner together. ”
“Not a bad idea,” Ryan piped in. “Things have gotten so desperate that Holly and Callie have taken over the kitchen. ”
Ethan shuddered and everyone laughed.
“No reason to kill ourselves,” Adam said by way of agreement. “Michael still has the clinic he’s working out of now. ”
Michael nodded. “Lily’s home alone right now. Dillon’s working the pub to give Callie a night off and Seth has been tied up in meetings with his deputies all day. ”
“Then I’d say you better get your ass home and take care of your woman,” Ethan teased.
