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"Ow." I rubbed the tip of my nose. "You shot me."
"Never said I wouldn't."
Pickles honked his disapproval and whuffled at a piece of yellow and pink crumpled paper that folded out to become a paper crown.
"Does he do this to you too? Did you spit at him?” I leaned closer to the alpaca. "Should I spit at him?"
"Well, that'll be a different sort of entertainment." Gerard winked at Ford, who watched me, his mouth curving upward with amusement.
The yellow crinkle paper crunched in my hands as I placed it on my head. I reached up to touch the fine headdress, and passed Ford a blue one he placed on his own head. "Your traditions are weird."
"Ugly sweaters," he reminded me.
"Cool," Denise, and I chorused, devolving into giggles.
"Jesus. When did you start drinking?" Ford asked.
I still went. “About an hour after I left last night?"
The room fell silent.
Ford rubbed, back of his neck. "About that."
Gerard and Denise burst into laughter. Jeremiah crossed his arms over his bulbous chest.
"You'll be looking after a girl," he rumbled.
"Promise," Ford said softly, sending another ripple straight down to my toes this time.
I bent down and picked up the little plastic thing that hit me in the nose. A small plastic green frog sat in my hand, and a little hard tab appeared where its tail should be. I placed it on the table, studying the hollow quarter worth of plastic frog. Ford leaned over and pushed the back of it helpfully. The frog launched across the table. Denise, who hadn't been watching, screeched and scattered.
Jeremih nearly fell off his chair laughing.
"Is there one of these in each of them?" Gerard asked eagerly, holding his hand out. For the next hour or more the Christmas crackers filled the room with popping pops and cracks, glitter, and flying plastic frogs. And everyone wore their Christmas crown while we demolished the ham until we were stuffed.
Finally, around lunchtime, Gerard stood, still sucking on a candied orange slice, his knees cracking audibly. "Son, I haven't had a laugh that good in decades. You really brought Christmas back for me. The only thing missing were the jokes.”
"Never was any good at those,” Ford apologized.
Denise shuffled over. “Merry Christmas, Nisha. It's your best one yet.”
Gerard looked up at Ford and held out a handshake. "I sure hope you're here next year. Bring some culture back."
Ford sketched a salute. “Yes, sir."
Chairs scrapped my flooring as I picked up plates from the table, consolidating some of the leftovers and stuffing from the rolled turkey Denise brought down.
"And that's Christmas here." I smiled at Ford, the smile that slipped as he regarded me intensely. "What? Do I have a plastic frog on my face?"
"You're missing some of that reindeer face paint."
Denise and Gerard and Jeremih came in for a quiet round of hugs, each wishing a merry Christmas and thanking me for food. As I wrapped up leftovers Denise promised to take up to Sally and check on her, I placed one of the tiny gifts on top.
“Please make sure she's okay, and if you need help come in for me."
Denise gave Pickles a friendly cuddle, dropping some carrots into his bucket.
"I'm not really sure he eats those."
