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I’m not fooling anyone.
Least of all Charlie.
He’ll find out.
Soon, he’ll know I lied to him.
God. All the stupid lies I’ve hidden behind.
It’s all my fault. I set out on this trip with boundaries, with rules, and I broke every single one of them. I chose this life with Charlie. I made it ours because I wanted it so much I ached.
If I had run weeks ago, if I had left him none the wiser, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
But I am. And now I’m trapped by my own heart.
Maybe he will understand.
Maybe he’ll forgive me.
And then I think of Maggie and I burst into tears.
No. I can’t do that to him.
Except I can’t keep going like this. I’m sick and my heart is compromised.
It terrifies me.
I could die.
I could leave this life I’ve come to love.
“Idiot,” I say with a heavy breath. My heart feels like it’s coming apart at the seams. Tears slide out of the corner of my eyes, and I’m too tired to fight them any longer. “Idiot.”
I touch my heart, its rapid beat disorienting me.
The world spins. Black spots dance in my eyes.
A knock at the door. “Ruby?” comes Charlie’s concerned voice. “Sunflower?”
“Charlie.” My voice trembles.
I try to answer him, try to open the door, to croak out a response, but even that tires me out.
“Charlie,” I whisper, resting my hot cheek on the cool wood of the bathroom door.
The doorknob jiggles.
“Ruby. Open the door.” He’s worried now, stern.
Lifting my chin, I meet my pale reflection in the mirror. “Don’t you dare,” I beg my body. Another tear slips down my cheek. “Please.Don’t.”
But my heart isn’t taking any more requests.
It won’t let me hide.
My heart skips.
Stops.
