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He slides my wrist between his roughened palms. For a long second, silence. “120,” he grunts, unhappily.
I thin my lips. “Cowboy.”
I love him for taking care of me, for worrying about my heart. When I wake in the middle of the night, snuggled up safe and warm next to Charlie, it’s always with his hand over my heart. Protecting me.
Ever since the clinical trial, the catheter ablation that restored my heart’s rhythm, my flutters have been few and far between. Typically, I faint only twice a year, in overly stressful situations. There’s still a chance my fast heartbeat may return permanently, but I take each day at a time. That doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of fear, but I’m fearless in my life with my heart. All I can do is follow its beat.
The frown on Charlie’s brow deepens. “Today was a lot, darlin’.”
Standing on tiptoes, I kiss him. “Didn’t you hear? Busy is who we are now. We have a lot more coming.”
The stern expression on Charlie’s face softens. “We do,” he says.
We’re pregnant. Only not in the traditional sense.
Charlie’s brother’s wife offered to be a surrogate for us. Putting my body and heart through childbirth is one risk Charlie and I aren’t willing to take. It’s the greatest act of selfless love, the greatest gift Charlie’s family could ever give us.
With a grin, Charlie sets me on the edge of the desk. He kisses my lips, his coarse beard tickling my face. “We’re busy as hell, but we’ll get it all done.”
My heart thuds in my chest. I grip Charlie’s hand and hold on tight as it all sinks in. Nerves and exhilaration and anticipation. The future.
The past.
Even now, my mind still goes back there.
“Cowboy?”
“Yeah, Sunflower?”
“Do you still think about it?” I whisper. “The day I died?”
He looks at me, his handsome face clouding with pain. “Every day, every second of my life, I will remember that moment. I will never forget it, Ruby,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. Stepping closer, he cups my face in his hands. “Why are you asking?”
“Because there was a time when I didn’t care what happened to me. I just wanted to live. And now ...we have so much.” Hot tears blur my eyes. “Sometimes I’m so afraid of losing it all.”
He exhales, the tremor rocking his massive frame. “Don’t be. We found our way back. And nothing’s taking it from us now.” Brushing a lock of hair from my face, he kisses me, then says, “It’s okay to be sad on happy days, Sunflower.”
“You’re right,” I say with a soft smile. His words make me feel like I’m floating, but he’s always my anchor. The steady beat of my heart.
In his rugged face, I see home. Comfort. Hope. Endless possibilities. One heartbeat at a time.
“Are you scared?” I ask him softly, running a finger over his forearm. “For the baby?”
“No,” he rasps. “Never.” A muscle clenches in his jaw as his throat works. “When our daughter comes, she will light up my life exactly the way you did. With a happiness I never thought possible.” He leans down and looks me in the eye with such fierce love I’m breathless. “My Sunflower.”
This time, the tears come ruthlessly.
And I think of the story I’ll tell our daughter about her father. About our love.
Once upon a time there was a girl, and the girl was me, and the girl had a perfectly imperfect heart and she followed its beat. And the beat was loud and brash and brazen, but so was she. Then she met a cowboy who was true and kind and handsome. He gave her sunflowers meant just for her. Memorized the beat of her heart, made her feel like she wasn’t an afterthought in someone’s mind, and when he said “stay,” she said “yes.”
Sometimes love is as simple as that.
With a sob, I wind my arms around Charlie’s neck and hug him to me. “Thank you. You made today one of the best days of my life. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“And I’ll keep on keepin’ on,” he says with that reckless, adoring smile I love. His hands clasp the small of my back, rocking us from side to side. “You and me, we got more sunflower days comin’ and they aren’t gonna stop.”
I kiss the tip of his nose. “I love us.”
His dark blue eyes turn soft, his voice a deep rumble in his chest. “I love you, Ruby.”
I smile widely. “I love you, Cowboy. With my whole heart.”
