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“Yes,”he’d said between kisses, settling onto my erection with tear-streaked cheeks. But he hadn’t.
“I’m sorry,” Jasper said, jarring me from those old thoughts. He shuffled his body closer to mine, the warmth of his sorrow fanning over my mouth. “I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t say if he collided into me, or if it was the other way around, but something snapped in my head the moment our mouths fused. I hauled him to his feet with both hands wrapped around his throat, kicking the bench aside and wheeling him around so he sat flush on the piano’s keys. The blare of crushed notes screamed in offense, battling with the sounds of our moans and the cold, harrowing wind rattling the balcony doors, searching for a way in to stop this madness.
I tore through his dress shirt, buttons assaulting the marble floor as I gripped his belt buckle and hefted his waist up until his cock connected with mine. We worked our hips in tandem, dicks hard and ravenous, threatening to do damage if unleashed.
Our kiss turned violent, painful, toxic, even, as one of us spilled blood. The smell and taste of vodka on his tongue pierced through the delicious coppery tang sliding down my throat, smacking a bit of sense into me. I wrenched my face away from him. “We can’t.” My voice sounded monstrous.
Jasper sent both legs around my middle, his toned ass pressing against the piano keys once more, the sound worked like a stiff wind, clearing the last of my haze. “I need you,” he whimpered, bucking up into me.
“Not like this. I need you to make the choice with a clear head.” I pried his digging fingers from around my neck. “Not like this.” I was giving up my opportunity to have him, but in his current frame of mind, taking Jasper would only serve to prove I was a better lover than Daniel. It would do little to prove I was a better man than him.
Jasper sagged, breathing recklessly. He tilted forward, his forehead settling on my stomach, and I tore at the elastic holding his hair before spearing my hands through the thick curls that sprang up instantly. “Can I stay?” he asked. “I can’t go home to him tonight.”
He could stay, he could never leave. One word from him and I’d make it so he’d never have to lay his beautiful eyes on Daniel again. Whatever the cost may be. There was no price I wouldn’t pay.
I helped him to his feet, catching his elbow when he veered to the side.
“It’s so damn dark in here,” he said accusingly.
I chuckled lifelessly. “Yeah, blame it on the darkness.” I guided him onto the couch, helped him remove all but his boxer briefs, and watched as he instantly fell asleep. I kicked off my shoes but could do no more as I perched on the other end, feet planted on the cushion, a hand slung over my knee as I gazed into the starless night sky.Sleep wouldn’t be in the cards for me.
Jasper reached blindly for me, and I crawled over, letting him cling to me like a magnet, his nose searching out the spot below my chin. I held him there, cradling him by a fistful of his minty hair.
“I’m going to be sick tomorrow,” he murmured incoherently, gentle snores chasing the end of his statement.
“Don’t worry,” I whispered into his wispy curls. “I’ll take care of you.”I would do anything for you.
Daniel
2 Years Ago
JASPER PASSED THEbar exam, and we’re at my parents’ house celebrating. More like me rubbing it in their faces. They’ve never been accepting of our relationship, and certainly not our recent marriage, and they don’t even try to hide it. Not even for Jasper’s benefit.
But he’s an attorney now, and that should make him respectable in their eyes. It should make me respectable in their eyes.
“Daniel,” my father sighs from behind me, my mother surely by his side. I stare through the patio doors to where they left Jasper in the backyard alone, following me into the kitchen. I cut the sink water off, drying my hands on a dish towel before facing them. “He’s going intocivilrights law?” he asks incredulously. “He still wants to devote his time tothosepeople?”
“Thosepeople” meaning poor people. The marginalized, as Jasper calls them. I hoped he’d change his mind. I’d thought that all the subtle urging I did every opportunity I got would’ve worked by now. “He’ll come around, Father. He’s just starting out. Give him a little while to see great effort with little to no reward will come from his humble ambitions. It’ll only be a matter of time before he comes running to me with arms open begging me to use my connections to elevate him.”
My father folds his arms over his burly chest, deferring to my mother who brushes imaginary lint from the front of her Chanel sheath dress before raising her nose haughtily into the air. They were a pair. “Clifford’s oldest, Maxwell, has completed his residency. All Clifford ever talks about is how his son is going to be the country’s leading neurosurgeon one day. And Maxwell’s fiancé runs a hedge fund. They’ll be the power couple of the century,” she mocks in Clifford’s lofty, melodramatic tone. “You’re thirty-two years old, Daniel. We expected you to be further along in life by now.”
“Yes,” my father cuts in.
“I graduated from the best schools, at the top of my class, and am arguably the best damn attorney at my firm, and yet it isn’t enough.”
“Your name should be on that plaque by now!” my father bellows with barely enough restraint to keep his outburst within these walls.
“We just want the best for you, Daniel,” my mother says, laying a calming hand on my father’s arm.
No, they want what’s best for their reputation, and unfortunately, they’d passed that trait on to me at inception. I want what’s best for me, for my social status, for my future, for the alliances I’ll form, the powerful people I plan to be seated at the table with. I was behind, as my mother pointed out, constantly overlooked.
“You don’t have to be what they want you to be, Daniel. You’re good enough as you are.”
I pinch my eyes shut on Jasper’s voice filtering in through my cracks. “I know, Mother.”
I gaze at Jasper who sits studying the eclipsed moon with fascination. I’ll never understand why it takes so little to please him. Why he lacks imagination. My parents are right, I think, standing straighter, toughening my spine, sealing all the cracks.
