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THE SCENT OFhazelnut breached my nostrils, snapping me from my thoughts of the past. “Mmm,” I moaned, accepting the mug Cole held under my nose from behind.
“What were you thinking about?” he asked, coming around to rest his back on the bedroom window he’d caught me gazing unseeingly out of. “Whatever it was has got you leaking big-time.” He fingered the pearl-sized bead of precum from my stiff cock before letting it fall into his own coffee. He chanced a gulp of the steaming liquid, his eyes closing as he groaned in ecstasy. “Who knew a pinch of salt made everything better.” He drank as he stroked me off with a spit-slicked palm, and I tried to drink as I orgasmed almost immediately, already having been on the cusp of it due to my travel back in time.
Cole licked his hands clean, adding a few more drops to his coffee. “So, what were you thinking about?”
“The time we came up with our safeword,” I said, walking on shaky legs to the nightstand where Cole had placed the framed patent he’d given me four nights ago. I set my coffee down and strolled back over to him with the intention of getting to my knees and returning the favor.
“No,” he said, grabbing my wrist. “I’m saving it for tonight.” He offered me a sip of his cum-laced coffee to ease the bite of rejection. “Things changed after that,” he said in reference to the implementation of our safeword. “We started experimenting more.”
We’d found our rhythm—our kink, little did we know—and with every sexual encounter afterward, we began to understand more of what the other wanted and needed. We grew bolder. Judged ourselves less. Gave less fucks. I’d gotten that euphoric feeling back during these days spent with Cole.
“This doesn’t end tonight,” Cole said, reading my mind. Daniel would return tomorrow, and while Cole and I weren’t ending things, we were ending our vacation. I’d be returning home, returning to how things used to be, in a way.It’s for the best. How it has to be.
“I know. It won’t be the same, though. You won’t have the same access to me.” I knew Cole well. Knew no matter how much he claimed he could manage this, chances were he couldn’t, and I found myself subtly reminding him, or more like preparing him, for how things would be. We’d need to proceed with caution.
“We spend a good deal of time together whether he’s around or not. You’ve spent nights here before.”
“Yeah, but we can’t play house,” I said, gesturing to my bags and the clothes strewn all over the place, some whole, some ripped to shreds by his hands. Setting up boundaries was more for me than Daniel, because I was getting attached to the idea of how it could be, and it absolutelycouldn’tbe.
He stood tall, drawing my chin up, laying a chaste kiss on my lips, his free hand soaring through my hair and tugging painfully. “Will you have sex with him?”
I’d already lost track of the days—possibly even weeks—since Daniel and I last had sex. We’d both been busy, and he’d never had an overactive sex drive to begin with. Going a few weeks here and there without sex wasn’t outside the norm for us. I’d honestly been grateful for the lulls whenever they’d occur. I’d thought maybe something had died in me along with my mother and my relationship with Cole. Turned out I was fine, or if something had died, Cole’s presence had resurrected it. Again I found myself overwhelmed with the mess I was making of our lives.
“He’s my husband,” I said, wondering again which of us I aimed to convince. “Cole,” I said, reaching out when he backed away from me, but he dodged my hand.
“Will you enjoy it?”
“No.” I’d avoid it at all costs, and chances were I wouldn’t need to try hard. I couldn’t tell Cole that, though. Admitting it would’ve served as false hope. Yet, I didn’t want him with anyone else. “If you ever need me when we’re not together… If it gets so bad that you can’t wait, text or call. I’ll try and get to you.”
He huffed, shaking his head at my audacity. After the longest pause, he said around a tight smile, “I’ve got a whole day planned for us. No more talk about Daniel. You and I are the only ones who exist until tomorrow. Deal?”
It didn’t escape me he hadn’t agreed, and if his goal was to make me jealous and alarmed, he had succeeded. It’d need to go on the backburner for now. “Only if you promise we’re not going to another medical conference,” I joked, or tried to at least, fully on board with living in denial for the next twenty-four hours. Denial was where I thrived best.
“I thought you enjoyed learning about the atriums and ventricles of the heart,” he said, feigning hurt as he looped his pinky through mine and walked us over to the bed.
“I’ll always support you, but warn me before dragging me to a six-hour conference next time, okay?”
“Dragging?”he asked, setting his mug next to mine.
“Okay, maybe dragging is too strong a word,” I conceded. The morning after he’d given me the framed patent, I’d personally gone online and found a conference in Brooklyn with tickets still available. I’d had them printed before he woke up. My way of saying thank you.
“You literally planned the whole thing. Ialwayscheck to see how long those things run before biting the bullet.” Our smiles were a tad more genuine now, our problems dissolving into the future as he sought to restore our connection.
“I need to taste you. I need my tongue and fingers deep inside you,” he whispered, licking his lips in preparation. “And I need it now.” I spread out on my back at his directive, spacing my heels far apart on the edge of the mattress. I bunched the sheets between my fists, undulating my hips as he got to his knees and fucking devoured me whole, leaving himself dripping and wanting.
“Nothing but the clothes on your back.”Those were Cole’s instructions when I’d asked what I should pack for the night. He was tight-lipped otherwise on our plans. He’d given Mark the holiday off, and it felt good not having to pretend we were anything other than what we were today.
We rode in the back of a sleek, tinted sedan with the partition up as our driver maneuvered through the congestion caused by the Thanksgiving Day parade street closures.
I had been upset with Cole for not being discreet about our lovemaking. Upset with him sending Daniel out of town as a tactic for hiding our affair. I was terrified of being caught, of Daniel growing suspicious if Cole and I weren’t careful. There was real guilt behind what I was doing to my husband. He didn’t deserve it, just like my mother hadn’t deserved what I’d done to her. I truly didn’t want to hurt him, even though my actions said differently. My actions always seemed to say differently.
I hadn’t made the fact that he’d be gone for the holiday an issue because honestly, I was relieved I wouldn’t have to spend it with his parents. It was no secret they didn’t approve of me, and they never let Daniel forget he could do better. Dinners with them usually involved his father scowling at my hair, and his mother reminding Daniel that his financial success was primarily due to the trust they’d established for him at birth, making him feel like he was living off their dime.
Attempting to forget about all that, and remain in the moment with Cole, I kept my eyes glued to the world outside my back seat window, trying to predict where we were headed. “Brunch at the top of the Empire State Building.” I pursed my lips. “Then a Broadway play.Hamilton, because you know I’ve been wanting to see it since moving here,” I said, and he laughed, because I hadn’t ever mentioned that to him, but on the off chance we weren’t going to seeHamilton, he now knew I wanted to. “Then dinner at Le Bernardin,” I said with perfect pronunciation, proving my French tutoring hadn’t been a complete waste of Franklin’s money. “Because you’re in the mood to throw your money around. Then,” I finished in triumph, bringing an end to my ridiculous, one-man game of Clue, “we end the night in a suite atop the Riyodahn overlooking the twinkling city.”
“Shit. Is it too late to change our plans tothat?” he asked, hitting me with a crooked smile. “Stop squirming,” he reprimanded.
“Stop enjoying it,” I said, trying to find a position that didn’t put so much pressure on the narrow plug he’d inserted in me. Due to its size, the low-level arousal was mostly easy to ignore, but this was only the beginning of his torturous plans.
