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It took everything we had to remain neutral as Mark made small talk on the way home. If he could sense how charged things were between Cole and me, he did a good job of not showing it, and by the time we fell into Cole’s entryway, most of our clothes were missing or in tatters.
The closing elevator doors jammed on something, and I tore from Cole’s kiss to see my shoe caught in its path.
“Leave it,” he breathed, unhooking my pants. From somewhere my phone rang, starting right up again after it had stopped, and then the text alerts began.
“Hold on,” I said, turning in circles, picking up my suit jacket but the pockets were empty. I hurried into the elevator, feeling around my coat pockets for my phone, checking the messages and exhaling. “It’s Daniel. He’s heading home.”
“Tonight?”Cole said disbelievingly. “It’s a four-hour drive. It’s already after ten.”
I didn’t mention the part about him missing me. About him wanting to wake up next to me. The conference ended hours ago, but the plan was for them to leave after the event-catered breakfast in the morning. Another opportunity for them to mingle with the right people.
I returned to the foyer. “Cole—”
“You’re not leaving. Stop seeing every move you make as an admission of guilt and tell him what any normal, loving husband would. Tell him it’s late, and you’re already half asleep on my couch. Tell him you’ll see him tomorrow.”
“Cole—” I tried again.
“Did it ever occur to youwhyhe’d want to drive four hours in the middle of the night to get to you?” he asked, getting increasingly worked up. “How long did you think this ‘no sex’ thing would last? It’s a phase. They say all married couples go through it. He was overwhelmed with work, focused on making a good impression—”
“Cole!”
“You’re not leaving! I’m not sending you home with my cum running down your legs all so he can attempt to fuck you and make it like this night never happened. Like we never happened.” His admission brought with it a grave silence. This was about more than this moment. It was about every second of every minute I wasn’t his. It was about the promises I couldn’t make but wanted to.
I shot off a text to Daniel. The one I’d intended on sending from the beginning. Cole set his shoulders back, preparing to keep me there by force if he had to. “I never said I was leaving, Cole.” I flattened my palm against his heaving chest, then pushed his shirt down his arms while angling my head to kiss the vein leaping angrily at his neck. “And your cum isn’t running down my legs,” I whispered.
“But it will be,” he said gutturally, rectifying that problem immediately.
I’d been sitting in the closet, going through the box of knickknacks I kept stashed under a loose floorboard when the front door of the apartment closed. I returned the seashell my mother had given me from the beach vacation she’d won. She couldn’t afford a proper souvenir, so she’d spent hours exploring the oceanfront for the perfect shell. That became our thing, and I looked forward to seeing what she’d unearth from the sand every getaway taken thereafter. She’d find ways to get her hands on a seashell no matter where Franklin whisked her off to. As I got older, I’d suspected she’d started ordering them online.
I tucked that, along with every birthday card she’d ever given me, back into the box, only holding on to the item I’d gone in there for in the first place. “Be right down!” I shouted when Daniel called my name inquiringly.
“You’re home early,” I noted, jogging down the stairs. The closet muffled Daniel’s griping as he leaned in to reorganize things. I’d probably hung my jacket in his assigned area.
“We’ve been invited to the Smithen brothers’ holiday party tonight.”
“Tonight?”I said. We’d been to a function three nights in a row now, and I had plans with Cole, who I hadn’t seen in days, not even at the hotel, due to our busy work schedules.
“I know it’s last minute, but it’s theSmithenbrothers, Jasper. I’ll be a god if I can secure a contract with them.” The idea made him giddy.
“I’ve already got plans with Cole,” I said as relaxed as possible. He was my brother, after all, according to Daniel. “He got us tickets to seeHamilton.”
“For which showing?” he asked.
“The last one.”
“Well, we won’t be terribly far from the theater. You can spend a couple hours making me look good, then meet him there before the show starts,” he said, problem solved. I’d left out the part about the dinner reservations Cole and I had beforehand.
“I’m not a trophy, Daniel. You can’t bring me out of your display case whenever you need something shiny to distract potentials with all so you can bait them to your cause.”
“Of course not,” he said, stunned. “But tonight is important, Jasper.” His hazel eyes begged for me to do this one thing for him. It made me think about all the ways I was secretly destroying him. Made me feel guilty for wanting to choose a night with Cole over an important opportunity for my husband.
“Fine. I’ll get ready.”
“And wear that green suit of yours,” his voice followed me upstairs. “It does something majestic to your eyes.”
That suit had been left in ruins on Cole’s foyer floor. “I think I’ll wear the maroon one,” I shouted back.
It had taken Cole a half hour to reply to my text informing him of the unfortunate change in plans, which wasn’t like him. And while his texts weren’t usually verbose, the one worded:Okay,coupled with the response delay, did concern me.
