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Maybe humor was the way in. Leland had always enjoyed a good laugh, especially at my expense. “If you’re not too busy, I’ve got a bare wall that could use—”
“You’re kidding me, right? Wild horses couldn’t drag me through your front doors, Franky.”
“What about regular horses?” I’d thought my bright idea had backfired, but eventually he returned my grin, tugging his bar towel off his shoulder.
“What is this, Franky? What are you doing here?” He wasn’t asking that in the literal sense, because we’d already established why I’d shown up there. He was speaking more in the grand scheme of things.
“I’m trying to earn your forgiveness. Please let me.”
“Is that all you want?” he challenged.
“It’s more than what I deserve,” I said, because the truth would’ve set us back five minutes, and I couldn’t afford to lose any progress.
His top teeth toyed with his bottom lip. “I don’t know how to do this with you, Franky, but I need to try for Cole. I just… I don’t knowhow.I don’t think I can.”
“What can I do to fix things?” I asked, hearing the desperation in my tone.
“Fixthings?” he exclaimed, turning heads at the end of the bar. I’d said the wrong thing, but to be fair, anything could’ve been the wrong thing. That was how built-up anger and resentment worked.
Leland took a deep breath before continuing with a lowered tone. “You think you can show up and wave a magic wand to makeyearsof pain go away? You think you can show up as a brand-new man, ready to cleanse his sins, and I’m supposed to do what? Go along with it? Break my friend’s heart? Take you back? Do you know what I’ve done to myself since that summer?” He stared down at his body in horror.
“I…” I didn’t know what to say. Anything I said would be wrong. “Would you have preferred it if I hadn’t come to New York?”
He screwed his eyes shut, as if he didn’t want to admit what he would say next. “Cole and Jasper needed you.Theyneed you. I’m happy they have you. I just don’t know where that leaves me, because seeing you only hurts, and I can’t pretend where you’re concerned. Cole will eventually know enough to ask the right questions—and don’t you dare say we should tell him the truth, because that is not something you get to decide on your own.”
He was right. If it were up to me, Cole and Jasper would know everything, but the truth wasn’t mine alone to tell. It was why Cole had never told me the truth about Selene’s death or his intimate relationship with Jasper. He hadn’t had the okay from Jasper to do so.
“Okay,” I said. “Maybe for now we can coordinate. Work as a team to lessen the instances when all four of us need to be together.”
“How?” he asked skeptically. “There’s the wedding, and your son is hellbent on us being one big, happy family.”
It was true. I’d received more invites for Saturday barbeques and Sunday family dinners than I could count. I’d had to talk Cole out of starting up a group text. “We’ll figure it out.” It was the least I could do for him.
Leland was flagged down for a refill, and I pushed up from my stool to catch his arm as he made to walk away. “But let me make myself clear,” I said. “The moment you tell me you’re ready, we tell him. I won’t hesitate, Leland. I won’t make the mistake of not choosing you again.”
He backed away slowly, his eyes watching me distrustfully. He spun toward his customers, and I fell to my seat, downing my now-warm beer in one continuous gulp.
The woman giggled above the music, and her boyfriend tossed an arm over her shoulder, smiling sappily down at her as Leland poured their drinks. He handed them off, then disappeared into the back.
The front door creaked open, and a few more people staggered in, taking seats at various high-top tables. One guy, there by himself, sat a few stools down from me. Average height, deep-set blue eyes, good looking enough. He drummed his fingers on the bar and craned his head around in search of something or someone.
Leland returned, his gloomy expression evaporating at the sight of the young man. “Alex,” he said, with a familiarity that made my stomach knot. “Back already?”
“What can I say? You make the best Old Fashioned in town.” Alex ended his not-so-subtle flirtation with a wink. He couldn’t have been older than twenty, and looked more like the frozen margarita type, I thought pettily.
“Nah,” Leland said, turning to reach the bourbon off the top shelf whileAlexchecked out his tight backside. “That would be my mixologist, Marrissa. She works the night shifts. You should stop by in the evening sometime.”
“Do you work the night shifts too?” Alex asked a little too eagerly.
“Yeah, I do,” Leland said. “I’ll be here all day every day until we work out the kinks.” He joked with Alex for a few minutes before finally sauntering back over to me.
“Things are starting to pick up,” he said, a clear hint for me to leave. “Your drink is on the house.”
I nodded, standing to fetch my wallet from my back pocket to pay for my drink anyway as he exited the bar area to take orders from the other customers chatting patiently at their tables.
I pushed my hair back and slipped my hat back on, heading for the door.
Stopping at Alex’s shoulder, I looked behind me to confirm Leland was out of earshot. “Alex, right?”
