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“Fine. Three smiles. I won’t make the fourth one easy for you.”
“At least you admitted there will be a fourth.”
“Only because you’re ridiculous, and apparently ridiculousness is hard to fight against when exhausted.”
“Tired already, grumpy old man? The sun hasn’t even set yet.”
“I’m not grumpy or old,” I grumbled, probably proving him right on the grumpy part.
We soaked in the cool air in companionable silence, neither of us in a hurry to break it as our gazes chased the seagulls flying low over the still waters. I wasn’t sure what it was about Leland, but I found him increasingly easy to talk to. Perhaps because he didn’t know me, which made it possible for me to be whoever I wanted to be around him. It was much easier to change in front of someone who didn’t know who you were before. Or in my case, who I’d been pretending to be. He didn’t look at me and wonder where the old me went and when he’d be back. I was Franky, and we were both getting to know me.
“I have two sons. Cole and Jasper. Jasper’s my stepson, but that’s a technicality I often forget. They’re away at college.”
“You’re married to Jasper’s mother,” he said.
“We’re separated at the moment, but yes, we’re still married.” I rubbed the spot where my wedding band used to be, feeling the loss deep in my soul and the ache deep in my bones. Would I find my way back to her? An even scarier question was did I want to.
My chest constricted around the guilt I carried there. I was failing my family, and I didn’t do it lightly, but I’d reached the brink of how much more I could tolerate failing myself.
Leland and I observed the water again, as somewhere behind us the roller coaster blasted down its wooden tracks, and the subsequent screams played background music to our thoughts.
“I’m losing my best friend,” he said out of nowhere, closing his big brown eyes and tipping his head back, his face bathing in the late afternoon sunlight. “I know saying that sounds random, but it’s not. His name is Noon, and we grew up in the same shitty neighborhood. He’s a freaking giant of a man who can cry at the drop of a hat.Literally,” he stressed. “You drop a hat and he’s crying.”
I smiled at his description of him, and Leland’s smile-radar must have pinged because his head snapped my way just in time to witness it. He didn’t call me out on it, though. Didn’t proclaim himself the winner. He simply returned the gesture before sweeping his gaze over the harbor again.
“He’s also inappropriately affectionate, and Ialwayspretend to hate it. Anyway, he’s in love with his girlfriend,” he said drolly.
“Blasphemy,” I said, appalled on his behalf.
“I know, right?” He cut a glance at me and grinned. There was deep affection under the surface of flippancy. Hurt too, but it was clear he cared for Noon, and something like jealousy rolled through me.What I wouldn’t give to have a friendship like that.And on the heels of that thought I remembered that Ididhave a friendship like that once.
With Theo.
“We’ve lived together since we were old enough to work whatever crappy job we could get our hands on to hustle up rent money. He moved in with her the day after your office party, and I have a feeling that was only the first of many moves that will take him farther away from me.”
“That can’t be easy,” I said, feeling his sadness like a thick layer of fog around us.
“He’s the only friend I have. I kind of make it a point to keep it that way.” He twisted to look at me then, his typical childish glee replaced with something soft like vulnerability. It made me curious about the sarcastic, flirtatious side of himself he so readily offered up. Was that merely to disguise the pain hidden underneath?
“I get the feeling you have even fewer friends than I do, Franky. Why else would you be here, with me, when you’re…when you’reyou,” he said. “I have absolutely nothing to offer you, but if you’re in need of a friend, I may have an opening.”
“As someone who makes it a point to avoid friendships, why would you offer me one?” I asked, not only confused by his touching gesture, but by the warmth it infused inside of me. I doubted we could be friends. I had too much baggage, too much going on in my chaotic life, in my chaotic head. Not to mention I was old enough to be his father.
But he’d been the first person I met, so to speak, on this new journey of mine. And without Gloria and Theo, Leland was the only one who knew Franky, to some extent. I secretly wished I didn’t have to let that go, even though it was barely anything to hold on to to begin with.
I thought Leland would answer my question with sarcasm or any other defense mechanism he kept in his arsenal. Nothing too heavy or too revealing. Instead, he kept his veil off, giving me something real, something I instantly connected to.
“Because you somehow feel different. A possible exception to my rule. And because I’m lonely,” he admitted softly, opening something in me and leaving me speechless.
Chapter 4
Leland
Easing off the gas, I strained to see the ocean beyond the densely packed trees blocking my view. I patted Betty on her dashboard, silently thanking the old Beetle for surviving the trip outside the city.
Last night on the pier, Franky asked if he could commission me to create a piece for him, and I’d easily agreed. He’d overpaid for the portraits he purchased from the gallery, and I’d seen this as an opportunity to right that wrong, because little did he know, I wouldn’t be charging him a red cent. I had no clue at the time that my blank canvas would be his living room wall.
I pulled into the driveway, stopping in front of the first of three garages and whistling up at the house appreciatively. Cutting the engine, I slouched in my seat, reaching back to grip my headrest as I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of ocean air drifting through my lowered window.
