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The bed dipped behind me, and my roommate, Noon, was on me before the elbow I’d thrown connected with his ribcage. He chuckled, and I complained as he grabbed me up in a reverse bear-hug, planting kisses to the back of my head.
“Your reflexes are improving,” he said, as I fought off his inappropriate affection like I did most mornings.
“Are you... Are younaked!?” I asked when something fleshy and hard tapped at my spine.
“It’s morning wood,” he said, and I felt his shrug. “Has nothing to do with you.”
“Why are you like this?” I groaned, wiggling out of his hold.
“Because I love you, which means I love to torture you.” He laughed, rolling away from me and deftly missing the headbutt aimed at his forehead.
“You keep this up and you’re going to owe me a bed,” I warned. The name Mr. Bear fit Noon more aptly than it did me, and my cheap Ikea bed frame couldn’t handle one more of his annoying morning wake-up hugs.
“Maybe if you’d actually listen to your alarm when it screams bad ‘80s music at you, I wouldn’t need to resort to extreme measures to get you up for work,” he said, getting to his feet.
I slapped at my alarm clock until it quieted down, then flipped to my back, peeling one eye open to scowl at the grizzly bear staring down at me. “Who lets you fuck them with that?” I asked, his erection taking up most of my view. I often joked that it was the size of a small human and would need to start contributing to the rent.
“You did,” he said with a snort, yanking the pillow from under my head and clobbering me with it.
“That wasonetime,” I said, snatching the pillow off my face and sitting up just as he disappeared into the hall. “And it wasn’t that big then!”
“Yeah it was,” he shot back. “And you loved it.”
I flopped down, scrubbing the sleep from my eyes. We’d fucked around with each other once in high school. Both curious and willing to be each other’s guinea pigs. It was a disastrous mistake we never repeated. We were much better off as friends.
“Get your ass up before I eat your breakfast,” he threatened from the kitchen.
I sniffed the air, fighting to get from under the tangle of sheets when the scent of bacon infiltrated my nostrils.
“What’s the special occasion?” I asked, snagging a plate from the cabinet over the sink and loading it with the eggs and French toast sitting on the stove. Noon was still sans clothing, but at least the worst of his nudity was hidden under the cheap, Formica table.
I took the seat across from him, reaching for the bacon sitting in the center of the table.
“Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?” he asked, deflecting. “Seriously,” he said in response to my deadpan expression. “They’re like pools of caramel and gold. I think it’s from all the sun exposure—which by the way you should avoid. All that UV radiation isn’t good for you.”
“Not gonna happen,” I said. I loved being out in the sun. “And if you’ve resorted to flattery it must be serious, so spit it out.”
He leaned his forearms into the table. “I’m moving in with Stacey.”
It made perfect sense, and I couldn’t say I hadn’t seen it coming. Noon spent half his time at his girlfriend’s place anyway, and we both knew why he wasted any time here at all. I couldn’t afford the rent in this shithole on my own, and I wouldn’t accept his help if he didn’t live here at least part-time. I hated charity.
“I held off as long as I could, but I can’t keep helping with bills in two different places.”
“I get it,” I said, even as I lost my appetite. My most recent job had only been seasonal. I could cover this month’s rent—which was already a couple days late—with the extra money I’d earned from the server gig Deb had gotten me last night. I’d need to scramble to find something else, and fast, or I’d be screwed come July.
“I’ll still pay my half of the rent this month—”
“Absolutely not,” I said, shaking my head and pushing my plate away. “Unless you’re staying here for at least half the month, keep your money. I’ll manage.”
“Actually, I’ve already paid the rent in full. Yeah,” he said as I glowered at him, “figured you wouldn’t accept it willingly.”
“Then why did you say you’d pay your half? As if you hadn’t paid the whole damn thing already?” I didn’t bother hiding my annoyance.
“Because I was hoping you wouldn’t be an ass about it, then I could take your half, add another half, and get the following month paid too.”
“You know that would never happen,” I said.
“Yeah, well, a man can hope. Will you let me—”
