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I wondered if he was being polite or genuine. Likely the latter, since unlike me, he’d been doing the work needed to find some measure of healing. If his secrets weren’t also Jasper’s, I was sure Cole would have confessed them to me by now, but he’d never do that without Jasper’s explicit permission.
“Maybe,” I said, unwilling to commit.
“Yeah, maybe,” Cole parroted back, as if he’d expected as much.
***
Leland did show up later that night, issuing me an awkward greeting before vanishing to the outskirts of the backyard. He seemed content to remain there watching the other guests mingle and dance under the chandeliered tent.
Every so often Cole would tear himself away from someone important to the future of Nexcom to check on him, while I lurked, pretending not to notice every move he didn’t make. Lurking had become a vice where Leland was concerned.
At one point their exchange turned heated, and Cole gestured for Leland to follow him along the path to the south gardens. I sat my drink down and excused myself from a discussion I had no interest in, trailing Cole and Leland from behind the tall row of hedges.
The band continued to play, but the music thinned the farther away they walked, and I strained to hear their conversation over the chirping of crickets and katydids. My own footsteps crunching the grass reverberated in my ears, and I gave up on getting closer for fear of being caught.
“I’m not accepting any handouts,” Leland said.
“You’re the most stubborn person I know. Actually, my father might have you beat. It wouldn’t be a handout. I’d be paying you,” Cole said.
“Do I look like I could be anyone’s executive assistant?”
“And you think you look like abartender? Have you seen your cheekbones?”
“This ends now if you plan on making fun of my devastatingly handsome looks,” Leland said, sounding more like the man I’d known before I went and destroyed everything good inside of him.
I was envious of Cole. Jealous that he got to be the one to breathe life back into Leland, that he was the one to experience and laugh at his outlandishness.
Cole took his time with his amusement, laughing until it seemed to hurt, and although I felt unrightfully possessive of Leland’s humor, it felt good to hear my son happy.
“You’re chewing on your bottom lip, that means you’re thinking about it,” Cole said.
I knew all too well how Leland teased his lip with his teeth. I’d had to rescue it from his sharp incisors many times. Blood would collect right under the soft flesh if he’d been at it long enough, turning the blush pink beds crimson. I’d sometimes save it from him only to break the skin myself to get a little taste of what pooled beneath it.
“You’ll never build enough capital for your bar if you stay here. You’re living hand-to-mouth, Leland,” he said softly. “And since you won’t let me invest the seed money, at least allow me to do this. I wouldn’t be paying you any more than the position is already offering. If you won’t do it for me, then do it for yourself. For once, do something for yourself. For your future.”
I ground the heel of my palm into the ache at the center of my chest as Cole continued with his persuasion. It hurt to know Leland had shared his dream with someone else when he’d held it so close to the vest with me. I’d thought I would one day earn the details of his art-bar. From the size, to the color scheme, to the pieces he’d choose to display on its walls. Pestering him about it had become a game of mine. I used to live for the excitement of wondering ifthiswould be the time he actually answered my questions. Ifthiswould be the time he felt safe enough to. But I hadn’t earned hearing about it from his own beautiful lips. I hadn’t fought hard enough to earn anything.
“I don’t know, Cole,” Leland said, but there was no fight left in his tone. Cole would win this. “This is my home.”
“Is it?” Cole challenged. “What’s keeping you here? I’m the only friend you have in this city.”
Leland’s silence terrified me, and as if scenting blood in the water, Cole charged forward.
“Come to New York and you’ll get to reconnect with Noon. Besides, you’ve already gone through every man in Seattle who would have you—and don’t even get me started on the women. It’s time to diversify your dickfolio,” he said.
“Well, why the hell didn’t you lead withthat?” Leland quipped, pulling a guffaw from Cole. I, on the other hand, didn’t find it funny at all. I ground down on my back teeth, went in search of Robert as Leland continued on with his amorous tirade.
“Franklin!” Robert called from the chocolate fountain as I weaved through the crowd to get to him. “Where’s Cole? We should probably do the toast.”
“Follow me,” I said cavalierly, entering the back of the house and moving purposely down corridors until I’d reached my office.
“What’s going on?” Robert asked from close behind me.
“Close the door behind you,” I instructed before pacing pensively.
“Talk to me, Franklin. Where’s Cole? Did something happen—”
“It’s too soon,” I said. “Cole taking over. It’s too soon.”
