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“I hope she’s not too mad at me. I didn’t want to lie, but what choice did I have?”
“She’s better off away from home. That’s what you said.”
Ryan sighs. I can imagine him just as he was when we were teenagers, with his skinny arms and mop of hair. He had that glint in his eyes like he was ready to take on the world. I remember when one idiot called Kayfat. It’s strange, but I forgot about that until now.
“Are you there? Kai?”
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“I said,Funny how fast time goes. What were you thinking about?”
“Is that why you called?”
“I was just checking in. Stop being so damn prickly.”
I almost groan, running a hand through my hair. He’s right. It’s not his fault that I only want to be with his sister… again. But go all the way this time, strip down her jeans, and reveal the round, creamy globes of her ass.
Dammit, I’m a monster more than a Titan. This is proof of my mind and how it won’t ever stop.
“So?” he says.
“The time that man called Kayla fat. Do you remember? We were at the club, and the drunk idiot heckled over. You were fifteen, and he was twice your size. He said…”
“She’s going to grow up to be a tub of lard. Yeah, I remember.”
“We all watched you kick that guy’s ass.”
“He was drunk.”
“Yeah, Ryan, but he was still twice your size.”
“That’s what big brothers do,” he says. “After, Dad gave me a big old bear hug. He had never done that before. He was so proud of me. Some people would say that’s messed up, being encouraged to fight, but when it comes to family, sometimes, it’s the only way.”
“Amen to that,” I say, thinking of my future children with Kay.
“Anyway, if you’re good, I’ll leave you to it.”
“If you need me home, you give the word.”
“There’s no one else I trust with this,” he replies. “It’s only you. You’re my brother as much as my friend.”
No, I almost say.I’m not your goddamn brother. That would make Kay my sister.
But I can’t say something as deranged as that.
“I…” He hesitates. “I care about you.”
“Are you sure you’re good?” I ask. “If you need me to come home—”
“Kay can’t be here. You know that.”
“Then stop talking like something bad’s going to happen,” I tell him. “I’ll see you in a few days, but for the record…” I swallow, feeling like a traitor, anasshat. “I care about you too, brother.”
We hang up, and I know I’ll never be able to forgive myself. Not that it makes any difference to what I’ve done. Feelings don’t erase actions. No amount of crying, whining, or anything else will fix what I’ve done—what I stillwantto do.
Hell, if I lose control again, I still might do it. I won’t be able to resist the urge. I have to try, at least, not to snap, not spank her, or forget who I’m supposed to be.
Back at the bike, I find Kayla holding the package. She’s already reached inside and taken it out, and now she stares, her eyes bloodshot, tears glistening. She looks so devastated that my instinct is to find whoever’s responsible and seriously hurt them. Nobody gets to make my woman look like that. Ever.
